Tidbits

Lenny Bruce used to carry his morphine kit in a small black case he called his “medicine bag.” He liked the ritual involved with opening it up and removing each part from its respective holder. Now that the apocalypse is upon us, we too have to resort to survival kits. Only instead of Lenny’s fashionable leather bag, our kits are made to withstand bomb blasts and biological warfare. And so, a special edition of Tidbits is born: the survival guide to getting high.

1 DELUXE SURVIVAL CASE $350

You can buy each component separately or get 15% off by putting them all together. The case is made by Pelican and can be dragged behind a car across town for all it cares. Shit you can drag it all the way to the bomb shelter if you want.

2 HELLO NEIGHBOR $5

Known as “the original breath-activated smoke and odor neutralizer” this blow-through-air refreshing system is revolutionizing where and when people smoke. If a toke is exhaled through it the resulting smell becomes vanilla nut, jasmine, or, for those who really can’t afford to be discovered, extra strength.

3 GRINDER $25

Great for rolling in the dark after a blackout, all you have to do is place your shit inside and twist. Now the contents are fully powdered and ready for consumption.

4 SLIDES $10/EA

If you’re on the run and you only have a short time to get high you need to be prepared. Rather than have to deal with emptying and restuffing every bowl, the deluxe case comes with three extra slides so, when your turn comes around, you are ready to go.

5 GLASS BONG

Made by the fine folks at Puff Pipes, this easy-to-clean piece of glass is easy to look at and as powerful a weapon as a baseball bat.

6 CLAIBRI CIGAR CUTTER/LIGHTER $100

One thing that sets apart the teenagers from the drug lords on the CIA payroll are accoutrements like this.

7 FLASK

Flasks are a true sign of our times. They can be used as a water source after an exceptionally dry hit. They can also be used to ensure that clean, uncontaminated water is always available. Most importantly, however, a flask allows you to continue to go to the bars you’re accustomed to without paying the now unaffordable prices.

8 CORK JARS

Airtight containers have never been more valuable. You can use them to hold two different varieties of stash or something less intoxicating like Ciprobay or Ciproxin.

9 CUSTOM CASE $200 (empty)

Now that everyone is getting survival kits of all shapes and sizes some more adventurous types are having artists customize them. This one was done by DSENSE.

10 GENERIC CASE $150 (equipped)

This is a cheaper version of the deluxe model. The only difference here is the generic case comes with a handy little $3 tool that can be used for everything from scraping out a dirty pipe to poking an assailant’s eyes out.

All of the above is available from Soma NYC at 437 East 9th Street.