Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill

TIME FOR ALL YOU RACIST GARDENERS TO GTFO

As a non-racist, are you sick and tired of not being able to find seeds to plant that reflect your all-embracing view of the world?Marc Daniels, "eldest grandson of Ross Daniels, the inventor of the Ross Root Feeder®" is, according to his (unbelievably poorly written) press release:

"Daniels proposes that the President call on youngsters everywhere to realize with their hands what Dr. King conceived in his heart and soul. While it's been over 47 years since Martin Luther King delivered his "I have a Dream" speech, and though much of his promised-land vision has come to fruition, unfortunately, according to Daniels, there still remain "weed seeds" of hate that hinder our success individually and collectively.

Daniels has put this theory into action with his "Weed Out Hate—Sow the Seeds of Peace" Sunflower Flower Seed packs. By integrating principles of social inclusion with gardening, this initiative offers educators a powerful method that transcends simply preaching for tolerance. It provides a hand-on experience to symbolize what Dr. King fought so hard to achieve."

"Selling packets of sunflower seeds to promote equal rights amongst the younger generations"? I can't believe no one has ever thought of that before! It's one of those simple and brilliant ideas like a zip or the internet that you just can't imagine a world without.

NON-EXISTENT QUESTION ANSWERED

Remember that insane, creepy sociopath that did those insane, creepy, sociopathic videos about dating European men? Well in the interest of "promoting" her "book" she just uploaded a recap of 2010 to her Facebook. One of the pictures was this:

"Visitors to my website asked me to combine my book and film careers by answering the question, 'if Audrey Hepburn were a single girl visiting Europe what would she do?'" They did? So multiple people asked you a question that doesn't even make sense? And the best way you were able to answer that question was "she would wear a cheap version of that really famous outfit of hers and sit at a table with a crappy diamante'd tote bag of herself"?

Also, she just uploaded this video of her "ideal book event":

I wish I was her.

THE SECRETS OF SHITTY EURO-ART REVEALED

Last week, some Euro-garbage artist named Olek knitted a giant cover for the statue of a bull on Wall Street. I'm assuming it was some sort of statement about corporate greed or something. Here are just a few of the things about it that make me irrationally angry:

- The combination of two of the worst things in the world: knitting and street art.
- The inclusion of time and temperature to try and give the impression that what she is doing is in some way dangerous.
- Her gross "if Sherlock Holmes had to go undercover at Columbia Road flower market" steez.
- The realisation that people still aren't over that guerrilla knitting thing.
- That the American police, who I've come to expect so much unnecessary violence from, didn't come and taze her off of her stupid fucking crocheted step-ladder.
- Googling the woman that did this and finding out she had an exhibition called "knitting is for pussies".
- Imagining what else could have been achieved in the thousands of hours it must have taken for her to knit that thing.

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE