Grimewatch

Lethal Bizzle

Ghetto, Kano & Wiley

Python Lee

What the FLIPPING HECK is going on? It's like no one in the grime scene could even be bothered to get out of bed this month. Hardly any of the stations are on, the club scene is dried up and there haven't been any good fights for weeks. As a result, everyone in Essex has completely forgotten what grime is altogether and have started listening to gay sped-up imitation Todd Edwards 4/4 garage records and poncing about in mullets and blazers, just like their south London friends in the funky house scene, while everybody else has decided to stop listening to music altogether, and spend all their time playing

Pro Evo

or

GTA: San Andreas

instead.

It's not all bad news though, because while they're hibernating, mans are working in the studio hard. Watch out for new albums hitting roads early '05 from Terror Danjah, Doogz (who had to change his name to Goodz for some legal reason) and Ears (check the new show, Saturday afternoons on Mystic).

Elsewhere, everyone's talking about 679's new comp

Run The Roads

. Terror took all his tracks off it because they allegedly wouldn't pay him enough money, as did Wonder who has fallen out with Kano in a huge way and now "Lately" isn't going to be on Kano's album.

The only club night worth mentioning recently was Bashy at Fabric. Roll Deep celebrated their signing to Relentless by MURKING the night. It was nice to see everyone clashing on stage without the night breaking down into shootings, stabbings and all-out rioting, even if the Shoreditch Twat Fabric crowd still looked scared shitless by the whole thing. Mike Skinner was at the show as well with his his new grime duo the Mitchell Brothers. Also there were Ruff Squad, Kano and Ghetto (who looks slightly like the rabbit from Donnie Darko?). Nobody would stop moshing on stage, which kinda ruined the show, but Ghetto's battle with Wiley was incredible. We reckon Ghetto is the next big thing to come from N.A.S.T.Y. because he's getting more forwards (that means rewinds) than anyone else in the game.

Talking of "Forward", Lethal B's tune has got so big it's been banned from all First Leisure clubs because it always causes a riot. It also sent everyone so berserk at the Notting Hill Carnival they had to shut down Rampage (this might have also had something to do with Nasty Crew running through the crowd in ski masks) but the hype is pretty much guaranteeing it a Top Ten spot. Meanwhile back in the ends, it's all about Jammer's new version "Bacwards" featuring Flirta, Rugrat, Dizzman, and Crazy T among others, and Godsgift's Forward Riddim–Remix–Diss, which has Gift, Wiley, Manga, Delusion, Trim, Soldier Kid and a few others all cussing Lethal B. Firecamp made a comeback too, but it was whack. Riko is supposed to be making a version too, but he just went back inside on firearms charges so it could be a little while…

Speaking of whack, the Sugababes are in East Connection's new video? WTF?!?

But don't worry, it's still real out there, N Double A are rumoured to have left the scene altogether after one of them got kidnapped after being mouthy on air.

Stormin' has just gone all out, laying down a 9 minute track dissing Taliban Trim from Roll Deep, but the murkage of the month award has to go to Bashy from Special Delivery—who just slewed Wiley HORRIBLY on

Ur Mum Vol 1

, calling his sister a slag and saying Wiley is a paedo. The Eski Boy is on fire right now though so we don't think he's got too much to worry about. He's bringing out his second album

The Second Phase

, on his own, even though loads of record companies offered him big money for it (he doesn't trust them, apparently).

In the four or five record shops selling grime that will still be open by the time you read this, DVDs are outselling everything else. Watch out for

Risky Roadz, Practice Hours

, and

Lord of the Decks 3

(which features Stryder and Ears clashing) all hitting the street in time for Christmas. That really is about it. Oh, if you haven't heard "Gype Riddim" by now, you need to get on that shit. It's a sample of an orchestra looped over with a tinpot break laced over the top and no bassline, but it's causing absolute fucking mayhem. The only thing bigger is Crazy Titch's vocal version called "Sing A Long"—even the rich kid hipster Dizzee Rascal fans will relate to it.