
-Ages 0-3Woke April, the family dog, from a nap. Scar on left elbow.
-Age 3Dad used to say, “You’re so cute, I’m gonna punch you in the nose!” Ran into parents’ bedroom one morning and punched my mom hard in the nose. Started crying after she started crying. Dad explained that he never intended to punch me and that punching was bad.
-Age 4
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-Age 5Stepped on something that hurt but when I looked at my foot nothing was there. Walked mostly on the side of my foot for two weeks. An X-ray showed I had stepped on a sewing needle that had almost worked its way through to the other side of my foot. Doctor pushed it out with her hands as an alternative to surgery. Refused Novocain injection due to fear of needles.
-Age 6New friend invited me to an exclusive pizza party whose guests would only be me. He dropped my invitation and bent over. Stared at his black and white checkered pants and succumbed to an urge to stab his ass with my pencil. His face looked amazed but not hurt. He said, “Oh no, now I tell on you.” I said, “If you tell on me I’m not coming to your party.” Teacher made me put my head on my desk for five minutes. Didn’t attend party.
-Age 6Provoked friend’s dog, Cocoa, into biting my face. Friend kept saying she didn’t want Cocoa to be “put to sleep,” so we told her parents I ran into a pole. Received six stitches under left eye. Refused Novocain injection. No scar.
-Age 8

-Age 8
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-Age 9Forgot the lines to my first leading role in a very serious drama club play. Didn’t think I was allowed to leave the stage. I made up new lines and the ten-minute play lasted over a half an hour. Thought I was doing something very bad but people kept laughing. Other characters stopped coming onstage and I said “The end.”
-Age 11Woke on Christmas and fainted from stomach pain. Doctor said it was “extreme gas.”
-Age 15Went to some bars and ended up at a playground where I broke a rib after letting go of something that was spinning very fast.
-Age 22Vomited blood and a doctor’s finger became the first finger to ever enter my ass. Discovered a stomach ulcer condition. Started taking non-prescription Xanax as an alternative to binge drinking and vomiting.
-Age 23

-Age 25
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-Ages 22-25

-Age 25Woman in Spain acted like she thought I was stealing fruit. Accidentally called her ‘Pedro’ while trying to say “Can I buy this” in Spanish. -Age 25Visited ex near the end of our romantic relationship. Told him I was going out to get food. Secretly ingested two bars of Xanax and two pints of ice cream. Fell asleep on the train. Woke with sticky fingers at least 15 stops from his apartment. An attractive older man entered the train as I exited. Shook his hand and said some combination of “Don’t shake my hand” and “It’s nice to meet you.”
-Age 26Fell down 5-7 stairs after waking from a dream where I was an R&B singer singing to a pile of fruit.
-Age 26Immediately vomited after seeing “pregnant” on a test strip. My boyfriend accompanied me to the clinic. I didn’t expect the waiting room to be full. The Jerry Springer Show played on a TV. We joked that they were showing it to assure us of our good decisions to not make more people. I left with pills that would induce a miscarriage, which I took that afternoon. Nothing happened for a few hours. Then I started bleeding through my clothes. Then once or twice an hour I’d jog to the bathroom to bleed into the toilet. My boyfriend was drunk and went to sleep. I stayed awake and watched Kramer vs. Kramer. Fainted on my way to bed. Felt scared and woke my boyfriend. He acted indifferent and mostly inconvenienced by me, which upset me, and we argued. I don’t remember what I said before he hit me. He only hit me once in the face. I stood motionlessly for a few seconds and then started pummeling him. Drove to Baltimore to stay with my mom. Didn’t stop bleeding for a few months. No visible scars. Broke up a few months later.
-Age 26
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-Age 26

-Age 26Knew Xanax would show in my urinalysis at orientation for a truck-driving job, so I wrote that I had a prescription on my medical history. Thought it wouldn’t matter, but they wanted a doctor’s note saying my prescription was discontinued. Stood around the truck terminal for four hours, pretending to wait for a phone call from a non-existent doctor. A truck driver named Mitch said I looked like a nurse and talked to me for a long time. He repeatedly asked why I wanted to drive trucks. I’d say, “I like driving, it’s fun,” and he’d say, “This shit ain’t fun, it’s a job, Hell no, this shit’s a job.” Told me he saw aliens and advised me to buy a gun.
-Age 26Previously - I Listened to Five CDs from the Five-for-a-Dollar Box at FYE@meganboyle
