
Everyone knows that girls’ asses smell like roses, their farts are invisible puffs of marshmallow sweetness, and on the rare occasion that they poop, it’s literally a Tootsie Roll that is OK to eat. So why does a company like Poo-Pourri exist? This is a spray that will mask the smell of your poop. It wears its own jewelry and there are angels and flowers on the packaging, and the different flavors have cute names like "Déjà Poo." It's redundant. No guy will ever use this. A match is fine for a man, thanks.We tried it anyway. You spray a film of this thin milk into the bowl before you crap, which means you are creating a bed of perfume for your poo to gently lay in. And then you do your thing. The only thing worse than a plain smelly shit is a smelly shit struggling (and winning) to escape its chemical wrap of sweet orange fragrance. Clearly they’ve focused on the wrong sensory stimulus that comes with taking a shit. Aren’t we all less concerned with the smell than the sound? Can’t they make poo earmuffs instead?
