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Hey Ron!

Hey Ron! - Customer Service Suffering

For some reason I've been dealing with a lot of customer service representatives lately. As I'm sure you know, they are the worst people on the face of the Earth. What's more, you have to fight an automated system before you get the privilege of...
July 29, 2011, 12:00am

For some reason I've been dealing with a lot of customer service representatives lately. As I'm sure you know, they are the worst people on the face of the Earth. What's more, you have to fight an automated system before you get the privilege of talking to one of them. It's gotten to the point where I just start hitting zero a bunch of times until a real person picks up. Then, when they finally answer, they just spout off whatever is written in their manual. They might as well be robots, too!

Those folks are cookie-cutter people. They're like, “Hi, may I help you? Oh, I’m so sorry you’re having this problem. Maybe I can get you some assistance.” Then they say, “Somebody will be there between 2 and 5 PM.” I have a job, stupid. I’m not supposed to leave my house because you can’t get this right? Hell no! Send somebody here on the weekend, when I’m home. And you better give me a better time than 2 to 5 PM. Someone needs to call me and say, "I’ll be there in half an hour." Just give me a concrete time.

The sad thing is that when you get right down to it, there's not much you can do. They're holding the cards. One of the only moves you have is to threaten to switch companies. I’ll say, “You know what, I’m going to go back to AT&T, because they have a great deal. Also, they have the iPhone there. So if you want to play these types of games, then I will too.” What are they going to do? They don't want to lose a customer. They'll say, “Well, I’m sorry. Let me see what what I can do, just give me a minute.” They're probably sitting there picking their nose. “Well, I spoke to my manager and she said I can do this.” When that happens I think to myself, “Yeah, you ass, you could’ve done that in the beginning. You just want to play your games."

The customer service representative's job is to keep as much money as possible. It’s negotiating, just like you do with your boss. They already know how much they’re going to give you. I don't like playing the negotiation game. Tell me what's going on straight up and let's deal with it. Don’t start with the high numbers, lets just be real. If you're going to try to hit me in the head I’ll go someplace else, and then you have one less person giving you money.

RON HEMPHILL