Microsoft Tweets Terrifying Demon to Advertise Windows 10 at Christmas

You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout because Krampus is nigh.
December 6, 2016, 1:30pm

Running a social media account for an enterprise technology company must be boring at times. Your bosses just want you to tweet at followers with inane server statistics or cloud computing case studies, but you just want to tweet dank memes, don't you?

Step up Microsoft Austria, which last night tweeted from its official Twitter account a horrifying image of a pre-Christian half-devil half-goat horned beast destroying an innocent, petrified child. The monster is infamous Austro-Bavarian Christmas-ruiner Krampus, and he's got his wormy tongue all over that child, slathering up his wispy, Trumpy hair like it's a fresh scoop of Ben and Jerry's.

"What? You're still not using Windows 10?" the tweet roughly translates as.

Bad. Ass.

Was? Du verwendest noch immer kein Windows 10? Microsoft ÖsterreichDecember 5, 2016

This is the kind of tweet that works. This is the kind of tweet that wins a social media intern that promotion. I want to see that child ripped apart. I want to see his parents sob in despair as the beast chomps down on that tasty, virgin flesh. The ultimate retribution for not using Windows 10! Take that, Apple. This is how you do Christmas advertising!

Read more: Of Murder Houses and Hell Gardens: A Top-Ten List for the Morbid Traveler

The tweet isn't entirely out of the blue, though. Today, December 6, is the Feast of St Nicholas, which means last night was Krampusnacht—the night of the Krampus. Austrian and German lore has it that the beastly devil goat roams the streets terrorizing bad children, gobbling up the naughty brats. The tradition is strong to this day, with adults still donning devilish Krampus costumes and running around giving children a right spook and giant, multinational technology companies freaking out Twitter users with sweet Windows 10 adverts.

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