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Future Sex: Why Do We Blame the Victims of Sexual Harassment?

Many of us like to think that we’ll stand strong and act decisively during a crisis, but until we’re put in one, it’s impossible to know we’ll react.

Many of us like to think that we’ll stand strong and act decisively during a crisis, but until we’re put in one, it’s impossible to know we’ll react. That conflict may affect how we view victims of sexual harassment, according to new research.

“Double Victimization in the Workplace: Why Observers Condemn Passive Victims of Sexual Harassment,” an article forthcoming in Organization Science and co-authored by Professor Ann Tenbrunsel of the University of Notre Dame with researchers from the University of Utah, Brigham Young, and Northwestern universities, explores judgment surrounding the victims of sexual harassment.

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Researchers found that when confronted with sexual harassment, many people do not stand up for themselves to the extent that they believe they will. And because they falsely overestimate their own response, they unduly judge others who remain passive in the face of sexual harassment. Researchers performed five studies, summarized in the article, on the responses of individuals to passive victims. Observers taking part in the first two studies predicted they would be more confrontational when faced with sexual harassment than victims generally are, and they judged the passive victims more harshly, sometimes indicating an unwillingness to work with those victims or to recommend them for a job.

We can see parallels between this condemnation of victims of sexual harassment and the social views on victims of outright sexual assault. There exists a cultural belief that victims of sexual assault somehow bring it upon themselves. And the same is often true for sexual harassment. Men and women may be reluctant to bring charges of sexual harassment or assault for fear of not being believed or being blamed for the incident. Jezebel just ran a story on a female member of FetLife, a site run by and for fetish enthusiasts, who posted an account of street sexual harassment and assault on the members-only site. She was likely seeking an outlet for her frustration and support from her peers, but instead her post garnered considerable backlash and victim blaming. One commenter perfectly demonstrates our willingness to believe that victims should have “fought” their abuse more, and implies that the commenter would have been more confrontational, were she in the same situation:

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I’m sorry for your terrible experience but I don’t read anywhere that you kicked him in the gonads, fought like a banshee, screamed right in his ear, yelled “Fire! Police! Help!”, drew blood with your nails, went fuckin’ primal on him!!!

Sure, sitting at home with your computer or simply observing sexual harassment or assault allows anyone to feel righteous indignation coupled with an illusory feeling of superiority as they imagine how they, if in the same situation, would have really let that guy have it. But being sexually harassed or assaulted is itallicfrightening. When someone more powerful than you – either physically or within the corporate structure – is intimidating you, it can be difficult to fight back.

Sexual harassment in the workplace is, sadly, an all too common a reality for many women and men. While extreme and physical forms of sexual harassment do occur, as well as “quid pro quo” sexual harassment – the explicit or implied offer of promotion or advancement in exchange for sexual favors – work environments that are sexually charged and more subtly hostile to women employees are also common.

I once worked as a cocktail waitress at a higher-end lounge in New York City. Sexual harassment occurred in my workplace. The service industry has a reputation for being hostile to women workers and rife with sexual harassment. I witnessed and experienced examples of physical and verbal sexual harassment of female cocktail waitresses and female bartenders. But no one seemed to think it was that big of a deal. Perhaps it’s because the industry itself encourages the sexualization of women. You’re required to wear tight dresses, high heels, and plenty of makeup; being attractive is part of your job. The prevailing opinion seemed to be that we understood that a certain degree of sexual harassment came with the territory. VIP guests would give women unwanted verbal or physical attention, often making us uncomfortable. But what could we do? They were the ones with the Am-Ex Black cards.

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Our collective condemnation of victims of sexual harassment implies a belief that there is available recourse and that these women are simply too “weak” to seek it. But in my experience as a non-union worker, there was little real support for employees. Human Resources departments at non-union workplaces have the ability to advocate for workers, and sometimes they do, but they can also serve to parrot the interests of upper-management. And while reports of sexual harassment are often taken seriously, there is always the fear or repercussions from management or colleagues. When entire workplaces are set up in a ways that silence worker concerns and tacitly approve of rights violations, how can we expect women to report sexual harassment?

Many workers may feel, or may be told outright, that they are highly replaceable. And in a recession it can be difficult to justify jeopardizing your job to report sexual harassment that doesn’t seem “severe” enough. Non-union workers may be hesitant to report incidences of harassment or rights violations to HR for fear of being dismissed or retaliated against. I know the implication at the establishment where I worked was that if we didn’t “want” to work unfair shifts, if we didn’t “want” to work in six-inch heels, if we didn’t “want” to work without breaks, then there were plenty of other “girls” who would take our jobs. And I was in school and I had loans to pay and I knew that was true.

I bring up my personal experience because I am a proud, self-identified feminist. I’ve worked at a women’s health clinic and I devote much of my writing career to covering issues of women’s rights and women’s healthcare. Until I had experienced sexual harassment in my workplace firsthand, I did wonder why more women wouldn’t simply come forward to report sexual harassment or hostile work environments. I did have judgment around this issue. But today I intimately recognize the opposition some women and men face in reporting these situations. Sexual harassment doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it exists in a culture that often condones or minimizes it.

It’s easy enough to speculate on how we would behave if we were sexually harassed or assaulted. We would go to the police! We would scratch that guy until he bled! And we should support the courage of women who do report and who do fight back. But we should also be sensitive to the truth that some men and women victims simply feel they can’t report or confront their harassers. When thinking about sexual harassment, as when thinking about sexual assault, we need to keep our condemnation focused directly at the perpetrators and the culture that allows harassment to persist.

Image: Shutterstock

Follow Kelly Bourdet: @kellybourdet.