Clearly, Mexico is home to some of the most terrifying morbid obesity in the universe. But, there's nothing stopping you from enjoying their scrumptious dog food recipes if you up the nutritional content. Don't like refried beans? This adapted enchilada recipe sneaks in all the health benefits of fermented vegetables in a duvet of beef. I don't have any hard facts on those health benefits, but I know they'll sure as hell kill any fungal infections you've got lurking.
Deep-Fried Pickle Enchilada
Deep-frying these babies somehow dilutes the tangy edge of pickles. That tangy taste puts a lot of people off. For a long time, I was very much in the camp of "Why does soaking a cucumber—AKA a useless rod of pond water—in vinegar make it taste any better?" But after years of being broken down by the fast-food system, it just became easier to just chow down on the occasional gherkin, than it was to spit them back out. And when you really nail this recipe, it should smell like all the best bits of McDonald's. The apex of any home cooking.
Sauce 1 x tin of chopped tomatoes 1 x tsp of oregano 1 x tsp of cumin 1 x tsp of cayenne pepper 1 x tsp of sugar 1 x tbspn of plain flour
Meat lots x mince beef 1 x massive onion 2 x cloves of smushed garlic 1 x tspn of garlic salt 1 x tspn of cinnamon (I don't know) 1 x slop of ketchup or chili sauce, whatever
Pickles lots x those long salad pickles 1 x cup of plain flour 2 x eggs 1 x cup of milk 1 x tspn of paprika 1 x splash of pickle juice
Dump all the sauce ingredients in a pan and leave it to simmer till it's sloppy and thick. If you want a truly authentic taste you're supposed to season it with coriander, but I think that shit tastes like soap and grass cuttings. Step 2.
At the same time, you can start browning the beef, seasonings, and onions. Cook it slowly; mince cremated on a high heat always ends up looking and tasting like rotting monkey. Step 3.
To start the pickles you need to pat them dry, if you dunk and fry them wet all the batter will slide off and frying vinegar will tear your face off. And if you don't have a face, what are you going to put your food into when you're done? Step 4.
For the batter, you're following the same routine as all the other jillions of fucking times I've shown you batter mixes… Jesus eff. But this time you're throwing in a little pickle juice to taste. Step 5.
Add some paprika for color. The thing with paprika is it will always make savory food look more cooked than it actually is. Step 6.
Now for dunking. If you want to make things a little easier, put the dried pickles in the fridge for a while so they're kind of stiff. Warm pickles will flop around everywhere, like a drunk girl trying to position herself over the toilet bowl. Step 7.
Fry. Again, like I've said before, turn the pan on, have a nap, watch some Maury—just don't attempt deep-frying till it's stupid hot. Also, probably don't attempt this when you've only got one hand free because you're holding a camera. Step 8.
Now that the pickles are golden and fried, you're going to ruin all your hard work by chopping them into slices. Step 9.
It's all plain sailing from here. To build the enchiladas, plop your meat and a sprinkle of fatty pickles onto a tortilla and roll. Step 10.
Squish into an oven dish. Step 11.
Drown the whole thing in your gringo attempt at enchilada sauce, top with cheese, and bake on 180c till it looks cooked.
Put away those elasticated waistbands y'all, because this meal is an odyssey of delicious fermented vitamins and vegetable goodness.
Previously - Vegan Cornish Pasties