There was a time when you could saunter into your local Wetherspoon wearing tea-stained lounge pants and enjoy a glass of Blossom Hill blush rosé and Curry Club beef madras without fear of judgement. And all from the comfort of a velour booth.
But change is afoot at the nation's favourite pub chain.
Last month, a JD Wetherspoon outlet in Kent introduced a dress code that banned tracksuits and long gone are the days of plain ketchup in your burger. Since the beginning of September, the chain's patties come smothered in a "bespoke signature burger sauce." Fancy.
A few months before that, Wetherspoon announced that it would be removing Sunday roasts from its menu, to be replaced by "Sunday brunch" options. According to a spokesperson: "Wetherspoon decided that it wanted to concentrate on its core menu."
Whatever that means.
In a new twist in the £4.99 roast saga, Wetherspoon announced last week that come Christmas, it would no longer be serving the traditional turkey-with-all-the-trimmings dinner.
In a press statement to MUNCHIES, a spokesperson confirmed the news: "A number of high street restaurant operators don't offer a Christmas roast but do offer meals that are Christmas-based and Wetherspoon is taking a similar approach."
Maybe founder Tim Martin is having to tighten the purse strings after that spenny Brexit campaign?
The Wetherspoon spokesperson continued: "A few months ago, all Wetherspoon pubs stopped serving a Sunday roast and it would be difficult to bring back a roast just for the Christmas offer."
Unsurprisingly, given the unforgettable festive experience of eating flaccid carrots and lukewarm turkey slivers in a darkened pub, customers on social media aren't pleased about the decision. One Twitter user, Kenny Jaymes, tweeted "What the hell are Wetherspoons playing at—this is frankly insulting! #WetherspoonsFail [sic]" while another, Rosy Knight, said: "I'm not much into pubs but many people are, especially for roast dinners & Xmas. I think #Wetherspoons just committed suicide [sic]"
Pictures were released this morning of the new festive food line-up. Instead of the traditional Christmas dinner, December diners at Wetherspoon will be treated to turkey pie, veggie Wellington, and a "Christmas burger"—perhaps a knowing reference to the everything-as-burgers trend already predicted for winter 2k16. Happily, the trusty microwaved Christmas pudding has been kept on the dessert menu.
Let's just hope Wetherspoon keeps those velour booths. Otherwise, shit really will hit the fan.