Drinking Tom Brady GOAT Beer Will Surely Poison Your Soul

If you truly want to be like the New England Patriots quarterback, you'll never touch one of these beers in your life.
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady at Super Bowl LIII media night.
Photo by Erik S. Lesser—EPA/EFE

Drinking the Tom Brady GOAT Kool-Aid is bad enough, but now Boston brewer Sam Adams has decided to make a GOAT beer that will surely poison you to the core. With a special blend of hops, grains, along with a pinch of "nobody believed in us" whining, the New England brewery is set to release this special edition, adorned with the image of Tom Brady as some Black Phillip-ass satanic figure.

Per Boston Globe reporter Matt Peppin, the beer will be released on Thursday from the depths of the seventh level of Boston:


Sam Adams apparently is trying to play both sides here, saying that Tom Brady is both the GOAT, and that the team is a ragtag group of underdogs:

Mind you, Tom Brady recently addressed comparisons to LeBron James, with his own cornball assessment, joking that, "we're similar athletes" before admitting he was just kidding! Mmmm… like washing a stale saltine cracker down with some room temperature milk.

The hilarity here, of course, is that Diet McGoo "rarely" drinks anymore and will probably never touch the beer in his life. Or, like, he'll freeze-dry it and cut it with a fork and knife into 1mg slivers or something. But don't worry—Gronk will likely pick up the slack.