Women Sum Up the Grossest Thing They've Seen in a Man's Apartment in Six Words
Illustrationer af Brandon Celi


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Women Sum Up the Grossest Thing They've Seen in a Man's Apartment in Six Words

"Left his Fleshlight drying in kitchen."

Not all women are squeaky clean princesses, but men seem to take disgusting homes to new heights. Between nasty bathrooms (hair-clogged drains, crusty towels), disheveled kitchens (sinks piled high with food-caked dirty dishes), and abominable bedrooms (stained sheets, more crusty towels), some guys' living spaces are legit hellholes. We asked friends and co-workers to recount the most gnarly thing they've seen at a fella's house. Here's what they said.


"Gamer kept pee-filled Gatorade bottles." - Ria, 28

"Jumbo box of condoms in bedroom." - Becky, 26 "Toilet that flushed with a bucket." - Alison, 31

"Left his Fleshlight drying in kitchen." - Estelle, 23 "Used condoms collecting in a glass."" - Tracy, 40 "Poop-encrusted underwear in his hamper." - Erica, 32 "On floor: wet laundry with mold." - Rachel, 33 "Dildo stuck on wall. Appeared unwashed." - Ellie, 33 "Garbage pile out back with rats." - Mary, 36 "Cum-stained comforters smelled like feet." - Jasmine, 30 "Refrigerator shrimp he insisted wasn't shrimp." - Jackie, 30 "Owned Common Sense by Glenn Beck. Gag." - Nancy, 28 "Furry hand-sized moth framed in glass." - Liz, 28

"Bathmat stiff as a cutting board." - Alia, 38 "Iguana roaming around his living room." - Kathryn, 29 "Basement was flooded with hoarder garbage." - Ria, 28 "Porno magazines in pile by toilet." - Ruth, 38 "Booger collection on his bedroom wall." - Nora, 24 "Used corner of bedroom as hamper." - Julie, 22 "Trail of mouse poop in kitchen." - Annie, 35

Illustrations by Brandon Celi for VICE

"Bottle of lotion next to computer." - Liz, 28 "Several mounds of dried cat puke." - Janelle, 26 "Moldy rust stains on shower curtain." - Allie, 23

"Something must've died in his microwave." - Lauren, 22

"Black grime in tub induced vomit." - Samantha, 25

"Every season of Family Guy… on DVD." - Maria, 21

"Several photobooth shots with other girls." - Cindy, 27

"Freezer-burned ice cream. Expired eggs." - Bethany, 27 "No silverware. Just re-used plastic utensils." - Joanna, 32 "Cigarette burns in his old-ass futon." - Samantha, 28 "Threadbare beach towel only towel available." - Jenna, 31 "His stash of exes' nude pics." - Leslie, 38 "Dust bunnies the size of rodents." - Courtney, 25 "Fleas on a dirty shag rug." - Veronica, 30 "Only thing in fridge: rotten mayo." - Sarah, 34 "Blood and poop stains on towels." - Christy, 39

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