Amazon’s Prime Early Access Sale is here—think a mini Prime Day in the fall, so you can get crazy-low prices way before Black Friday—and with it, a bona fide big-boi wave of deals, both on Amazon and from a cornucopia of other sites that simply love an excuse to serve fuego sales. Our editors have sifted through the universe-size sale bin and picked their most-wanted stuff that’s on sale, but now we turn the podcast mic to you, dear reader. We dusted off the archives of our best-selling products that y’all love to love to cross-check which ones are at marvelously tasty prices for this Prime Early Access Sale, and the news is brilliant: Loads of our favorite electronics, knives, undies, condoms, and other miscellaneous chef’s-kiss must-haves are marked down for this two-day sales event (October 11 and 12 this year), and we’ve got ’em all for you, right here.
Satisfyer Pro 2
The legendary Satisfyer Pro 2 is the GOAT of suction vibrators, and it isn’t just the best-selling sex toy among VICE readers—it’s the best-selling product of anything we feature here on Rec Room. Why? Well, whether via our in-depth review or by word-of-mouth from a friend who’s had one in their nightstand for years, the hype about its oral-simulating, sonic-pulse-suction technology and the pleasure it offers is beyond real. Got a clitoris? Just try it—after all, it’s 30% off right now. We’ll say no more.
Crest 3D Whitestrips Kit
No matter what ~look~ you’re going for—cybergoth, nü metal revival, rosé-sipping coastal grandma—it is always enhanced by gleaming pearly whites. But if you’re like moi, you do not want to deal with going to the dentist and getting lectured about your gums just because you want to be hotter. Our editorial director tried out this at-home whitening kit last summer and saw truly amazing results, and it flew off the shelves last Prime Day. Now, it’s 14% off for the early access event—so snag it for less.
Calvin Klein Underwear
When it comes to the best underwear, Calvin Klein is the GOAT—it’s the comfiest, the longest-lasting, and certainly the sexiest, which is impressive considering it’s just cotton and a logo waistband. Its appeal never fades, so stock up while you can save up to 23% on tons of styles and sizes for men, women, everyone.
Fire TV Stick Lite with Alexa Voice Remote Lite
If for some reason you don’t have a Smart TV or Fire Stick yet and you’ve got dusty wires snaking all over your living room floor, or worse yet, you’re still watching streaming services on your crappy laptop screen… what are you doing??? This Fire TV Stick 4K is 50% off for the Prime Early Access Sale, and will get you set up for pseudo-adult life in seconds, so you don’t have to awkwardly ask your Hinge dates to huddle around a 2015 MacBook Air to watch the new season of Stranger Things.
Yeah, yeah—we also love retro headphones that go over your ears, have good old-fashioned wires, and don’t look like something out of Black Mirror. But AirPods are the best-selling headphones because they simply are the best when it comes to convenience, connectivity, and sound quality, and we could always use an extra pair for 43% off when our maladjusted rescue dog inevitably eats one of our buds.
Renpho Eye Massager
Our staff writer Nicolette Accardi loves this heated, vibrating eye massager, which is a godsend if, like many of us, your eyes feel like they’ve been microwaved after a day of staring at screens and reading about stressful world events. Thanks to Nicolette’s review, it became a hit with our readers—and for the Prime Early Access Sale, it’s 59% off.
OLsky Massage Gun
We love Theragun-style percussion massagers for un-braiding our weary butt muscles after a gnarly squat sesh, but Therabody products can be big bucks (although they are on sale right now for the Prime Early Access event as well!). Thankfully, there are lots of great Theragun dupes out there for amazingly low prices, including this OLsky massage gun that our editor loves and the rest of our staff covets (and will be adding to cart) for 40% off.
SKYN Elite Condoms
If you’ve tried SKYN’s ultra-thin latex-free condoms… you know. They’re the only condoms that really, truly feel high-quality and reliable, but also barely, barely, barely there. And better yet, they don’t smell like balloons. That’s why we fill our nightstand drawers with them, and you do, too. Snag a box of 36 for just 15 bucks right now. Whether that supply lasts you a week or three years is, well, up to you.
Imarku Japanese Chef Knife
We’re always on the hunt for a great chef’s knife, and it’s even better to find a premium, Japanese-style super-sharp knife that isn’t a gazillion bones. That’s where the Imarku reigns supreme time and time again, and we will continue to evangelize it because it really is that masterful at slicing and dicing meat, veggies, and more—and it’s 20% off.
Mario Badescu Drying Lotion
SOS means “save our skin” in these parts—we will never get on a cruise ship again after reading too many norovirus horror stories. Meanwhile, our skin is G L O W I N G, thanks to the skincare arsenal we’ve been hoarding since Obama’s last term. Our staff writer’s solution for banishing zits is this cult-fave drying lotion; just a few dabs does the trick to shrink blemishes overnight, and it’s 30% off.
Bose SoundLink Wireless Headphones II
Bose is the boss when it comes to audio, which is why the brand’s headphones are forever faves for our readers (and everyone who cares how their playlist sounds). Bump to all your favorite tunes with this wireless, over-the-ear Bluetooth-equipped set that offers up to 15 hours of playtime on each charge. The best part? They’re 35% off right now.
Armpits that smell like oat milk lattes??? Sign us up. It’s pretty unheard of, but we’ll gladly put Old Spice on hold just to soak it all in. It’s a three-pack, so other scents included are paradise flower and amber, and palm leaf and bergamot if you don’t to smell like a cup of Joe. In case you’re new here, Native is au natural with no aluminum—and one of the best natural deodorants out there.
Bissell Zing Bagless Canister Vacuum
We may love the Dyson V12, but it’s pricy—and as a more affordable option, our readers swear by this dust zapper. With its two-liter dirt capacity, you never have to change the bag—we do that enough with our foul trash. Clean the carpet or floor with a flip of a switch with its cyclonic action and powerful suction for 10% off.
Balkwan Sunset Lamp
Sunsets in the fall don’t even compare to jetting off into the sunset during a summer getaway to Morocco. But we can simulate with this rotating, color-changing LED lamp for 20% off. Use for a mood-booster, romp session, or to see what you’re actually reading instead of sitting in the dark. Sounds romantique. Our staff writer loves this thang for *feeling something*.
Add to cart now, and thank us later. But most importantly, congratulate each other for having such good taste!
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.