Do you have a whittling knife? A child named Wilder? Do you have an affinity for watching wilderness reality TV shows and thinking, What a booooooring tourniquet? (Same.) Well, Bespoke Post is your safe space. The ~rugged boi~ company offers a themed, monthly subscription box service for people who actively split logs, form sentences out of one-syllable words, and curate an overall rustic personality—regardless of if they live in the city or the Blue Ridge Mountains.
What sets it apart from, say, REI (no shame; big smooch) is its fancier curation when it comes to handy tools, outdoor apparel, and high-quality wilderness goods that range from the practical (like this tactical hunter knife), to the, hmm, aspirational (see: the Male™ equivalent of Goop’s Yoni Egg, the “Thinking Egg”). There’s a section for the kitchen, outdoors, bar, men’s grooming, clothing, and accessories that feed each other pretty effortlessly—but the most intriguing is called Everyday Carry, which encompasses writing tools, pocket knives, techy stuff, little water purification pods for the disaster-preparedness peeps, and much more. Call it what you like, but you certainly can’t say it’s not a site that is doing the absolute most to get you on a crash course to Level 10 summer lumbersexual.
Put on your water shoes, and let’s wade through some of their coolest finds for adventures in nature, the kitchen, and the annual Bearded Woodsman convention.
A speaker you’ll want to actually display
This bluetooth speaker feels like the sexy cousin of the Pixar lamp—y’know, the one that got a Masters in Environmental Urban Planning and summers on the Amalfi Coast.
Gingko Mini Halo Bluetooth Speaker, $75 at Bespoke Post
If you like Eames chairs, you’ll dig this
Why is it that both gaming chairs and camping chairs always look so fugly? This camp chair by Wren is easy on the eyes, has no-sink feet supports up to 300 pounds, and when it's all packed up, it takes up about as much space as a water bottle.
Wren Compact Camp Chair, $75 at Bespoke Post
The best cast iron add-on
You may not live in a timbersil house in Montana, but this cast iron bacon press says otherwise. Press this metal piggy upon your bacon’s bubbling, crispy fatness to get a more evenly seared strip, then store it in plain view because it’s so damn charming. It’s also a solid gift for the person who already knows everything about cast iron skillets.
Old Mountain Cast Iron Pig Bacon Press, $15 at Bespoke Post
A wallet with a bunch of compartments (but no bulk)
Tired of Kangaroo-pouching an over-stuffed wallet in your pants pocket, but not ready to clean out those random rewards cards (they’ll come in handy at some point, right)? We, too, have the same emotional attachment to business cards from three years ago. But you don’t need to purge, so much as find a spartan leather wallet that you can (gasp) carry every day.
Bellroy Hide and Seek Wallet, $89 at Bespoke Post
Purify your water, wherever
“Fill your pitcher or bottle with regular tap water, then pop in one of these pods. In just two minutes, the pod can draw heavy metals, chemicals, and other impurities out of your H2O. They’re fully recyclable and will purify up to 264 gallons of water each.” Not ideal for venturing out into the Pennsylvania wilderness to slurp from a stream, but certainly a good back-up item to have if you’re traveling somewhere where you’re uncertain about the tap water quality.
Portable Water Purifier Pods (Set of 2), $55 at Bespoke Post
A flask flashlight for night hikes
Please: Hike and sip responsibly. That being said, can you imagine a better 2-in-1 objet for the apocalypse than a flashlight that doubles as a flask? It also holds a compass and two shot glasses. You’ll gain so many followers at the encampment.
VSSL Adventure Flask Kit, $95 at Bespoke Post
Camping doesn’t mean sacrificing a pillow
Not when you have this inflatable burgundy number, which is compact enough to fit in the bottom of your backpack, and is made with a special X pattern that is specifically designed to cradle the human head when inflated. You don’t even need a pump, either; your face hose works just fine.
Klymit Inflatable Camp Pillow X, $20 at Bespoke Post
Did Seth Rogen make this?
No more smoking out of the Sprite bottle bong, please. It lived, laughed, and loved so hard. It’s time to let go, and invest in a ceramic water pipe that even comes with a faux-flower topper.
My Bud Vase Coyōté Ceramic Bud Vase, $100 at Bespoke Post
… Also, you (still) suck at rolling
That’s OK. If you can’t roll a non-lumpy joint or cig, own it. We’re living in an almost too-advanced point in time [points to The Masked Singer]—the Jetsons never had to roll by hand, so why should you?. “The wood and brass holder prevents your hands from smelling like burnt herb, and helps keep smoke away from your face.” Pair it with the Hemson walnut grinder, which is so beautiful it looks like a minimalist piece of furniture (or their golden grinder, if you’re Drake).
Hemson The Atwood Pre-Roll Holder, $29 at Bespoke Post
This hand-stitched, Italian leather AirPod case is 60% off
We’ll take any opportunity to make ourselves smell more like pebble grain leather/The Most Interesting Man in the World. How else are you supposed to grow a worldly personality?
Courant Pebble Leather AirPod Pro Case,
$45 $18 at Bespoke Post
You’ll get thirsty after all that hiking
What the sun giveth, it taketh, and you’ll need to replenish yourself with some icy Cantaritos in red clay cups made by artist Rodolfo Pila in Mexico, which you’ll nonchalanty tell your buds about whilst you whip them up a few cold ones with this easy kit. It comes with the clay cups, one citrus hand juicer, two paper straws, and chili salt, so all you need is the tequila and grapefruit soda.
Verve Culture Cantaritos Kit, $35 at Bespoke Post
Last one to Half Dome is a rotten Thinking Egg <3.
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