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What VICE Readers Bought This Month: Massagers, Trippy Lights, and Fancy Earplugs

You crazy kids were jonesin' for cozy gear, the perfect earplugs for your first post-vax shows, and mind-blowing prostate orgasms. 
September 30, 2021, 8:58pm
jackets, massagers, and other reader picks
Composite by VICE staff

Happy Thursday, dear VICE reader, and welcome to autumn, the cinnamon-roll-and-nostalgia zone. This month, our readers seemed to be beyond ready to get cozy and deck out their homes with decorative gourds and spooky candelabras, and we couldn't agree more—let's book some leaf-gazing weekend getaways and curl up with a weighted blanket, shall we? VICE-heads have massagin', masturbatin', and picking up new jackets, masks, and presents for the neighborhood squirrels, because you're all worth it!!! 

So, what did we get into this month at Rec Room? Well, we started going to shows again, so we needed new masks and the best earplugs, and our friends started getting married again (gross) so we found the best unique gifts to give those losers who found true love. We found the coolest affordable fall basics, from flannels to beanies, and broke down TikTok's Y2K bedroom nostalgia and gorpcore, the streetwear look that's all about crunchy 90s North Face energy (need a fanny pack, or new hiking boots that won't make you look like a dorky uncle, anyone?). We explained what you need to try out pegging (why not?) and what mattresses can help with back pain if you're getting so freaky that you misalign that spine. We reviewed LELO's new vibrator, asked New York's coolest hair stylists what shampoo and conditioner we should be using for every hair type, started buying NFTs, tested out a bunch of anti-anxiety products, and found gifts for your Libra friends and e-bikes that won't make you look like you think Mark Zuckerberg is cool. Ugh, there's so much more, folks—but you'll have to pop over to Rec Room to see the rest.

Here's what our faithful audience was most into this month, from the perfect denim coat to a trippy party light.

An affordable sub for the cult-fave Theragun 

Back in late August, we reviewed the pricey but beloved Theragun line of massagers, and found that they're all pretty great. But since not everyone can drop several Benjamins on a super-charged body vibe, we found some affordable alternatives that also get the job done, like this $50 pick from Amazon. VICE readers are pickin' it up in spades, and loving it as much as the gazillion people on Amazon who have given it a five-star rating. 

Youdgee

Deep Tissue Massage Gun for Back, Neck, Shoulder, Leg Pain Relief

Earplugs that protect your hearing without muffling the band 

We also reviewed Loop earplugs, which are designed to reduce noise levels without making you feel like you're under the sea. This is especially important when you're watching one of your favorite bands, of course—as our editor was when she tested them at a Turnstile show. The verdict: They're perfect for concert-going, and even look like cool Klingon jewelry while you're wearing them. 

Loop

Loop Experience Noise Reduction Ear Plugs

The denim chore coat that we'll wear all through fall

We recently did double duty on rounding up the best denim jackets for men and for women, because a) everyone should have a killer jean jacket and b) fall is the perfect time to wear it. The biggest hit with readers? Madewell's denim chore coat, which is equal parts retro and modern, functional and fly. 

Madewell

Oversized Chore Coat in Laurelton Wash

A picnic table for squirrels, because y'all are crazy 

We love bringing you the best deals, and earlier this month, we came across this incredible invention that only highlights the ingenuity of mankind and the insane depths of Amazon. Yes, it is a picnic table for squirrels, complete with mirror and corn cob holder. Obviously, we all want one. 

Solution4Patio

Squirrel Feeder Picnic Table Shaped with Mirror and Corn Cob Holder

The antiperspirant that all the super-sweatiest swear by

We have some peeps on the team who are sweaty types, and so we know firsthand that a lot of "deodorants" don't do their jobs. But there is hope for those who are permanently glistening; as we break down in our list of the best men's deodorants, Certain Dri is considered the crème de la crème when it comes to antiperspirants that actually stop you from drippin'. More than 18,000 reviews on Amazon agree that this stuff is life-changing for the hyperhidrosis crowd. 

Certain Dri

Certain Dri Prescription Strength Clinical Antiperspirant

KN95 masks that don't make you look like all haz-mat 

It's nearly October 2021, and yes, we're still in The Mask Zone. With that in mind, we're always keeping an eye on the best masks of the season, since the ones we bought in spring 2020 are definitely ratty and ready to be replaced, and these multicolored KN95s reign supreme when it comes to mixing form and function. Sometimes we want plain black to go with our health goth sweats; other times, we're feeling navy or pink. That's what variety packs are all about—and a bunch of readers agreed. 

WWDOLL

Multi-Color Five-Layer KN95 Masks (25 pack)

The clit tapper that just doesn't quit 

When Better Love's super popular Tap Dancer went on sale earlier this month, we rejoiced—and so did our readers with clitorises. After all, the Tap Dancer's powers are well-known; this of it as a snake charmer for crazy orgasms. It's still 33% off right now, if you're jonesin' for a sex toy described by its satisfied owners as "just WOW!!!" and "genuinely the fastest toy that has ever made me cum, and by cum I mean this was a whole new experience."

A super-psychedelic projector 

Ever been curious about what good psychedelics are like, but know that you wouldn't mesh well with actual drugs? The next best thing might be this LED party light projector, which comes with paint so that you can customize your trippy, color-drenched experience. "Use it to make light painting photographs or as a night light, party light indoors in a dark or semi-dark room, or bring it with you into the woods or a garden party, it will totally add a plus to the event," the seller writes. If you're throwing parties in the woods with this thing, we want an invite, thanks! 

LightPaintingLamp

Portable LED Party Light Projector

Prostate massagers for blowing your mind (and your load)

Here at VICE, we want to service our readers—and what better way to help y'all out than by teaching you how to give yourselves and each other explosive prostate orgasms, y'know? So our guide has been a bit of a hit, and along with it, the top toy picks from experts when it comes to beautifully (and gently, of course) blasting your b-hole. The Aneros Helix Syn Trident and Njoy Pure Wand are considered best in class—and many, many happy customers sing their praises for good reason. 

Aneros

Helix Syn Trident Silicone Prostate Massager

The coffee alternative that the caffeine-sensitive crowd loves

Looks like sludge, tastes like a delicious chia: MUD\WTR is a big-time fan fave for those who can't do coffee but still want a morning pick-me-up, and it only seems to be growing in cult status month over month. As fun as it is to spend our days looking like that psychotic GIF of an overstimulated Sylvester the cat, a whole lot of us are ready to mix up our bev routine to be free of meltdowns, and MUD\WTR is getting rave reviews all around for its super-tasty PSL-like flavor—and its ability to offer a panic-attack-free energy kick. 

MUD\WTR

MUD\WTR Ritual Starter Kit

See you at the finale of Spooky Season—then it's time for pie season [clicks heels].