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Buttpluggin' With qDot
You can now literally get fucked by Elden Ring, the notoriously difficult new Soulsborne game released last week. Programmer and founder of buttplug.io, Kyle Machulis, designed a way to DIY a connection from actions in the game to internet-connected sex toys. Machulis’ other inspired past projects include buttplugs synced to Animal Crossing, Rocket League, and various other video games. If you open your mind wide enough, any game could theoretically become a sex toy. The process is called haptics rerouting: mapping the in-game haptics where the game would normally signal a controller to vibrate, and directing those signals to other devices. In this case, the other devices are sex toys. Machulis told me that this project started with a joke tweet on the game’s launch day, about haptics rerouting not working with Elden Ring yet. The joke snowballed into a real effort to get around the game’s anti-cheat mechanisms, which could detect interference like in-game mods, and he eventually got it working. In this Elden Ring teledildonics mod, Machulis connected the Lovense Hush (a buttplug) and Lovense Diamo (a cock ring), as well as a dildo-thrusting machine:
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“I mean, it's called Elden Ring. There's been constant ‘Elden Ring sounds like a sex toy’ jokes since the game was announced, and we've already seen posts about one of the enemies looking like anal beads,” Machulis told me. “Between that and the whole From Software games being ‘brutally difficult’ and ‘fucking over players’ thing, I couldn't not.”Every time your character is sliced by an enemy, the dildo machine pumps, or the vibrators vibrate. Machulis put the mod on Github, but admits that the process has been mostly shitpost-inspired, and not to be taken as particularly aspirational or high-quality code. “I cannot stress how fucking stupid this is. You do not want to backdoor yourself, even in order to backdoor yourself,” he wrote in the Github repo. “Do not use this. But if you really want to anyways, it's your funeral, here's the code.” What kind of Pavlovian response this would breed in a gamer—getting horny for being methodically slaughtered by dripping forest ghouls or rotting zombies—is yet to be seen.