Some of the Dumbest Things That Happened During the Insurrection Chaos

For almost everyone who was not physically inside and/or around the United States Capitol, yesterday was a day of watching cable news and social media feeds as cops took selfies with insurrectionists and Trump supporters without masks on ran amok around the House floor.

Amid all of the chaos, a bunch of dumb and entertaining things happened online, on TV, and even in real life suggesting the whole incident was both more- and less-thought out than it might have seemed. As the cops pretend to try and sort through the mess in a profoundly on-the-nose caricature of the Tim Robinson “we’re all trying to find the guy who did this” meme, here is a yearbook for this historic event, specifically focused on the most absolutely deranged parts.

Journalist Ryan Lizza shared a photo from Getty, an image hosting service, showing the Trump supporter who picked up and stole a podium from the Capitol. “Via Getty,” Lizza wrote, using the standard language to refer to the image’s source. Some folks online thought they nabbed the guy, urging everyone to look up, “Via Getty that is his name.” Doubtful!

It is both terroristic and criminal to storm the Capitol in the midst of a congressional vote to certify the presidential election. But not all are blessed with a sense for irony, including the MAGA mob member who placed this sticker on a window during yesterday’s rioting, criticizing the antifa movement for being terrorists and criminals.

Rudy Giuliani makes phone gaffes all the time, including yesterday, when he accidentally left a voicemail to “slow down” the election certification on the wrong senator’s phone. He meant to call Trump-ally Tommy Tuberville, but instead called someone who shared the recording with The Dispatch.

Hey…Who among us has not had a little trouble using the restroom outside, as indoor availability mid-pandemic is highly limited? Even insurrectionist terrorists have to take a little potty break sometimes.

Forget the rioting and storming of the Capitol. Let yesterday be known henceforth as the day Karlie Kloss, the supermodel, wife of Josh Kushner, and sister in law to Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner admitted she has “tried” to convince her Trump in-laws to accept the results of the election. History has been made; Karlie Kloss tried.

Totally normal thing to do when running into a friend! Don’t we all miss our friends?

Amazing; like me, former President George W. Bush is from Texas, and also like me, George W. Bush is someone who merely “lived through the Iraq war,” according to CNN’s John King. What more could we have in common!

Much like your big high school field trip to New York City, the crew made T-shirts so they wouldn’t lose each other mid-coup, and to remember civil war day for years to come.

In some sort of twisted defense of… storming the literal Capitol, one gentleman claimed that his hand, slightly discolored by smeared blood, indicated that something must be done about… something.

If you were wondering what such politicos as P!nk and Demi Lovato had to say about this devastating day in our nation, E! News reached out to reps and got a few quotes that will surely be printed in history books for years to come. Or, in summary, “I’m speechless.” - Chris Evans

In a since-deleted tweet, sent mid-coup, McCain let us all know that she missed her dad, the late Republican Senator John McCain, who was a Republican. The reasoning was unclear.

Perhaps the only decent Trump family statement of the day came from little Tiffany, who merely wanted to make sure her brother Eric had a happy birthday. Eric, happy birthday brother.

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