In the past we've been screaming, "Stop bitching about SUVs and Hummers. They make up a fraction of the number of cars on the road. The problem isn't what you drive it's the sheer number of drivers out there." Well, turns out the Environmental Protection Agency has been charting air pollution for the past 30 years and they have a slightly different version. We were right about SUVs and Hummers being irrelevant but we were wrong about the "sheer number" thing. The problem is old cars. They're the ones that are doing all the guzzling. New cars (big, small, monolithic) are 98% cleaner than their ancestors so go bananas. There are 170% more drivers in the world but, instead of that making things worse, air pollution has gone down 54%. WHOOPS!
And another thing. We used to bitch about The Long Emergency and how we're all going to die and run out of oil and cook the planet but that's before we looked into Canadian oil sands and a chart of the weather in the past 4,000 years. There's plenty of oil and global warming is a myth. Canada's
always had oil in the sand but it was too expensive to get out. Now that the shit's well over $50 a barrel we can afford to get it out of there and there's enough of it to last us for at least another hundred years. And that's not going to cook the planet either.
You see, most of the planet's recent warming years went on from 1900 to 1945 yet most of our mass production polluting is recent. That means factories don't make things warmer, an incredibly random pattern of gases and shifts and weird earth stuff does.
And you don't believe all that ice cap melting shit do you? It's just Al Gore inventing a new genre of scare tactics (terrorism's taken). Sure Arctic ice is melting but for all the edges melting there and in Greenland you can find more ice building in the center and the north. Besides, melting ice on the top of the planet causes overflow about as much as melting ice in your Maker's on the rocks causes the glass to overflow.
So we were right to call you babies for bitching about SUVs but we were wrong to say: there's too many cars, we're running out of oil, and the earth is cooking (actually we never said anything about global warming but we were thinking that).
And another thing. We used to bitch about The Long Emergency and how we're all going to die and run out of oil and cook the planet but that's before we looked into Canadian oil sands and a chart of the weather in the past 4,000 years. There's plenty of oil and global warming is a myth. Canada's
always had oil in the sand but it was too expensive to get out. Now that the shit's well over $50 a barrel we can afford to get it out of there and there's enough of it to last us for at least another hundred years. And that's not going to cook the planet either.
You see, most of the planet's recent warming years went on from 1900 to 1945 yet most of our mass production polluting is recent. That means factories don't make things warmer, an incredibly random pattern of gases and shifts and weird earth stuff does.
And you don't believe all that ice cap melting shit do you? It's just Al Gore inventing a new genre of scare tactics (terrorism's taken). Sure Arctic ice is melting but for all the edges melting there and in Greenland you can find more ice building in the center and the north. Besides, melting ice on the top of the planet causes overflow about as much as melting ice in your Maker's on the rocks causes the glass to overflow.
So we were right to call you babies for bitching about SUVs but we were wrong to say: there's too many cars, we're running out of oil, and the earth is cooking (actually we never said anything about global warming but we were thinking that).