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Vice Blog

AUSTRALIA - PRO-WAR NEO-CLASSICAL SHRED GUITAR GODDESS

Speaking of frightening bitches, we had to try really hard to get back to our happy place after coming across the pro-war propaganda fuelled website that belongs to "The Great Kat". Hailed as one of the top ten fastest shred guitarists on the planet, The Great Kat, aka Katherine Thomas from Long Island, New York, has laid claim to single-handedly digging up the grave of classical music and resurrecting it by fusing it with speed metal and theatrical dominatrix-style, blood splattered displays. We caught up with her for a chat and left with our tails between our legs.

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Vice: You were trained in classical music but your style is essentially metal. How does that work?
After graduating from Juilliard as a Violin Student, I realised that classical music was dead and desperatley needed to be brought back to the people in an exciting and modern way. I heard bands like Judas Priest and Ozzy and decided metal was the only music to mix classical with. Shred Classical is the only way to update classical music and awaken the masses to the genius of Beethoven, Vivaldi, Wagner, Paganini and Bach. Real, complex, virtuosic, exciting and powerful music.

How often do you play live shows?
I only perform at large shows that feature my outrageous persona, insane guitar shredding, wild violin virtuosity, slaves, whips, chains, torture devices and the back up shred band.

Some of your songs seem to be about the September 11 attacks?
My latest CD, Wagner’s War, was written specifically about the attacks. Those barbarians destroyed our symbols of freedom and capitalism. Of course I was furious, outraged and horrified. Afterwards I immediately composed this battle-cry-to-war album. So you are a supporter of George Bush’s war on terror?
The number one issue in the world is the war on terror.

After watching some of your clips, we were surprised to hear that you’re not into drugs or alcohol. Where do you get the energy?
Wake up! This is the global Internet age! Get geniuzed with shred classical music!

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I don’t get it?
Wake up!

Your Metal Goddess album was only four songs long, why was that?
Well because you flaccid faggots can’t handle more than four songs of vicious, jolting cyber speed. You losers would be on the ground hyperventilating if I gave you more than seven minutes of a cyber-speed blast.

What does the future hold for the Great Kat?
I will own all of my music and systematically update each genius masterpiece from Beethoven to Vivaldi. I am the only musical revolutionary since Beethoven to change the history of music.

Good luck with that.
Wake up!
LANGLO WEST