VICE Fashion - Loss

Photo: Nina Andersson/b-martin.se

Styling: Lisa Sundström/LinkDetails

Make up: Oliver Andersson/Mikas

Börje: My grandmother died before I was born, and my grandfather died when I was only a few years old. I didn’t know that my grandmother had killed herself, my mother told me about it ten years ago. It felt distant, but I realize it must have been hard for my mother—in those days and my mother was brought up in poor conditions. I’ve lost my best years and the chance for a good life to drugs. I have failed relationships behind me, women who’ve said they would wait, but didn’t. Back then it was a good thing I was in jail, so I couldn’t take as much drugs as I wanted. Right now my brother lives with my parents. He’s an alcoholic, he became epileptic because of his addiction, but I can’t worry about him anymore. There’s nothing I can do for him, except trying to be a good role model in my own life.

Shirt Fred Perry, jeans Gul & Blå, sneakers Umbro by Kim Jones, hoodie model’s own

Alex: Last winter my friend died. Someone called, they told me my friend was in coma, and that there were little left to do. I was shocked, I didn’t even know my friend was taking drugs. It really made me think about what’s important to me. Now I’m very “no to everything,” even things that aren’t usually considered to be drugs, like smoking or alcohol and stuff like that. All those things, except smoking, make you loose control; I hate losing control. I think people have two sides, my friend had one that was smart and well-read, and then the drugs one, that I never got to see. I think people’s lives are split up between a problem life and an ideal life. When you’re young it’s easier to switch between them, it’s almost like a part of the youth culture. Sometimes it seems like you have to have problems in order to be considered interesting.

T-shirt Tonite/Beneath, bracelets Blammo, jeans and boots model’s own

Kristina: My view of drugs is that it’s pure misery, finally it kills you. I know, I lost my entire family that way. My father started out as a party drinker. My sister died twelve years ago and she started out the same way. If you have that allergy in you, it’s going to turn into addiction. Right now I want to get an education to start working as a drug addicts and alcoholics therapist. It’s not a career move, it’s something I really want to do. I’ve never thought about something that way before, I’ve only thought about what I have behind me as a big black hole, never as something that I could actually profit from. I’ve lost a lot of things in my life, and every time people have turned their backs on me. People are afraid of feelings. When they see something like that happen it reminds them of painful things in their own lives that they don’t want to face. That’s why they think it’s easier to to stop calling or look the other way when you meet.

Top La Redoute, cardigan Acne, necklace Trish Becker/Skindeep, sneakers Puma, jeans model’s own

Tony: A friend of a friend mine died on Christmas eve. Me, him and some other people had spent Christmas together the year before. I was distraught by it, but it was different from when someone very close to you disappears. That’s like getting punched in the face, it takes a long time before you can start thinking about it. When it happened I could reflect about it, about how sad it was, and it felt tragic in a different way. It’s hard to explain… but it feels empty. What happened didn’t change my perception of drugs. People make it sound like anyone can get hooked on drugs and end up miserable. That it’s a chemical reaction that will totally suppress your own will, and that it has nothing to do with who you are, or where you come from. I don’t believe that. The people I know who’ve gotten in trouble with drugs have all had complicated backgrounds, more or less. The idea is that if you take away the drugs, the problem with the addicts will disappear. I don’t think it works like that. I’m not saying heroin isn’t dangerous, obviously. But I don’t think it’s the narcotic substance that is the biggest problem in society.

Sweatshirt Nike/Beneath, sweater Topman, jeans Lee, sneakers Umbro by Kim Jones, jewelry model’s own

Stephanie: It was about three or four years ago. I was 13 and my friend was 15 when her sister, who was 25, died. Since it happened we’ve talked a lot about it, and not just about that specifically, but also about drugs in general. I don’t know exactly what happened, the only thing I do know is that it wasn’t her intention to take an overdose. She had stayed clean for a really long time, but then she met some guy and made the same mistake as everyone else, believing you have the same kind of tolerance to the drug that you used to. Me and my friend were really close when it happened. We still see each other once in a while, but we’ve grown apart a bit. What I think about drugs? I hate drugs.

Sweater Topshop, jeans See by Chloé/Skindeep, shoes Killah, hoodie and jewelry model’s own