Hey Ron!Glad you're back. It was perfect timing because I have a serious problem.I cheated on my girlfriend a while back when we were having some troubles which we have since patched up. I was drunk and screwed my friend's little sister after a party he had. She was only 17 at the time, but now she's 18, and she just told me the other day that she's pregnant with twins. I'm freaking out.I'm 23, and I really love my girlfriend and things have been great since we had that blowout. I think everyone's going to find out eventually, but I don't want to raise a kid (or kids) because I'm too young, have no money, and I don't really like kids in the first place. HELP. Thanks, Frank
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Dear Frank,Why do people blame everything on drinking? I mean, really. When you screwed around with this girl the probability of everything that you just mentioned happening was high. Now that you're back with your girlfriend you think everything is OK, and of course the backlash is that you now have to deal with this girl you got pregnant.Put it this way, dude: If you can find your dad's gun put it to your mouth because your life is over. You're going to have two kids to feed and an ex-girlfriend nagging you. Now, be careful, because these two kids, you got to raise them. You're just going to have to man up, put your knuckle game together, forget college, get your GED, and let me know what McDonald's you're going to be working at because I'll help you out. I'll buy a Happy Meal from time to time. I'm joking, but it's really going to suck for a while dude because you're going to have baby-mama drama.It doesn't sound like she's willing to have an abortion; especially if she said, "I'm having twins," instead of "I'm pregnant with twins." She's under the impression that she's going to give birth to these two kids. Now, if she gets an abortion-I'm not recommending it, I'm not going to say she shouldn't or she should because that's… you know, no one has the right to take a life so, I'm pro-life I'm not going to go there but you all should make that decision together--both sit down and talk and decide what is it that you need to do. But I don't see you dating her, she's 18 now. First of all her brother might punch you in the mouth for sleeping with his little sister and getting her pregnant. That was another disrespect to the tree [after asking for clarification, Ron says he's speaking about "the tree of life"—ed.].Hindsight is always 20-20, but you should've used a condom. They're selling them cheap now. Now, there's another option, but I'm not going to lie to you: Pulling out is kind of hard. When that moment comes, pulling out is the last thing you're think about doing. You're trying to fill her brains full of your babies. So go for the condom next time. Use some sense.If your girl is willing to stand by you, more power to her and that's great and all. But you're going to have trouble feeding two kids on whatever kind of budget you can maintain from whatever bad job you have to work because you have no college education. It's going to be really hard, so it might not be a bad idea to think about asking one of your buddies for a .25 and seeing how it tastes.Love,
Ron_Send your questions to Ron via [vice@viceland.com](mailto:vice@viceland.com?subject=Hey Ron) and keep your eyes peeled for the _Hey Ron!_ show, coming eventually to VBS, or maybe actual TV._
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