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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - ENOUGH

Come on, people. It's not like we're "beach bums" or something who spend an inordinate time in the ocean, but can we PLEASE stop discovering new creatures that look like a whale's small intestine and apparently move by taking a reverse shit? That nauseating Japanese mouth-shark or whatever that spiraled its way up to the surface a few months back was bad enough, but at least it was on the other side of the planet. It'd be nice to be able to even think about taking a swim without being racked with shudders. Oh, and it goes without saying, calling a pale, seven-foot long living entrail a "Sea Serpent" is as much an insult to the mythological beast community as it is to our intelligence.

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