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Buy 1,062 grams of cocaine or MDMA, over 2,000 grams of mephedrone or 4,250 grams of amphetamines. Do as many of them as you can before you start to sweat blood and your heart explodes. Then get a private doctor to replace it with a poor person's and do it all over again. Pay for Those Essential Estate Upkeep Costs
Douglas Hogg can spend his extra dosh having the prole-proof moat around his mansion cleared. He could also pay the mole catcher, tune his piano, service the Aga, repair the stables, pay the house keeper, hire a jam boy to keep the bees away, get the lawn mowed and cover pretty much all of the housekeeping costs he used to stiff the tax payer with prior to the expenses scandal. Eat Lunch in the Carlton Club’s Churchill Room
Budget day lunch “off the trolley” at “the oldest, most elite and most important of all Conservative clubs” is Castle Mary Beef with Yorkshire Pudding, for the princely sum of £15.25. Parliament sits for roughly 99 days a year, so ministers can scoff away every time they’re in town for an entire term and still have £36,461 change. Which you can probably just burn.
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