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This eight-year-old boy is more of a man than you

Remember that girl you screwed with a few times, it was never officially on, never officially not on, then you got back together with your ex-girlfriend and never had the guts to ring the other girl? Not only would the eight-year-old boy who wrote this confession to his teacher have picked up the phone, organised a meeting, and explained the situation; but by midnight he’d have got both of them drunk, smiling, and talking half-jokingly about a threesome.