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We Asked Random People for Unqualified Predictions About 2016

Maybe humanity will get its shit together, maybe it won't, maybe this rock we call home will keep spinning for billions of years and this year, like all other, will be essentially meaningless.

Image via Flickr user Christian Heilmann

If you can look past the small and large scale wars, terror attacks, new Prime Ministers, and deaths of beloved celebrities, this has been a pretty okay year. But as 2015 draws to a close, it's natural to wonder what 2016 will bring. Maybe humanity will get its shit together over the next twelve months, maybe things will take a turn for the worse, maybe this rock we call home will keep spinning for billions of years and this year, like all the others, will be essentially meaningless. Whatever happens in 2016, we should at least get legal weed and life on Mars, right?


To address all these complex and important questions, we went to the highest academic authority, random people on the streets of Melbourne.

Ally, 22, student

VICE: Hey Ally, what will 2016 look like?
Ally: I'm seeing lizards. I'm hoping lizards make a comeback in fashion—lizard prints, that would be good to see. I really like lizards.

I didn't expect you to go straight to lizards. I thought you'd talk about politics?
I reckon Malcolm Turnbull is slowly going to reveal himself to be a real keen kind of racist. Inch-by-inch, he'll just slip up. Trust me.

What will we see in tech next year?
I think there's going to be some robot action. Robots are going to make their voices heard in 2016. Honestly, I predict a half robot Australian cabinet by the end of next year.

Sky, 22 and Jade, 23 both unemployed and loving it.

Sky: It's going to be a great year.

That's positive, what's your dream for 2016?
Sky: That Australia says yes to gay marriage.

What kind of technology trends can we expect?
Sky: Jade loves Tinder.
Jade: Shut up.

Don't be ashamed. Tinder's great.
Jade: I've only had it for two days! I'm going to delete it. New year's resolution.

Jack, 19, Gemma, 17 both students

Jack: I really don't know. It's just impossible to know.
Gemma: I'm doing my last year of high school next year, which I'm guessing is going to be stressful.

As teens, where do you see pop culture heading in 2016?
Jack:I feel like perhaps in popular music more experimental stuff is starting to break through into the mainstream.
Gemma: Hoping for fewer Kardashians.


Is 2016 the year we discover life on Mars?
Jack: I feel like that's a 50/50. I know we've found water now. It could happen, hey.

Alistair, 34, software developer

Alistair: I think it's going to be more of the same. Can't imagine there'll be a whole lot different between now and then. I feel like the situation in Syria will continue to simmer, the liberals will be in power, we'll still be talking about the Paris attacks.

Same shit, different year?
Pretty much. Can't see a whole lot of change or progress happening. It's depressing, really.

How about scientific progress? What are you hoping for?
Maybe a cure for cancer. They've got to be able to cure at least one of the cancers.

Yeah, like one of the minor cancers? Surely that's not too much to ask.
I think it's fair.

Thomas, 27, self-proclaimed good guy

Thomas: I think climate change is going to become the number one issue. I just think it's necessary. It's time.

Are federal politicians going to take charge and address big issues like that?
I hope so, but at the end of the day, everything that's bad for the world is run by business.

It feels like you've been thinking about this.
Unfortunately, money rules the world. Watch the documentaries about it, you wake up and realise. I'm not big into politics, I don't even really care, it's easier to sleep at night not worrying about it. I try and do my bit where I can, live a peaceful existence.



Gabby, 17, student

Gabby: I reckon it's going to be an awesome year.

Good for you, nice to see some youthful optimism.
I'm feeling good about it.

What kind of cool developments are in store?
I think that iPhones and smartphones are going to get better.

What's the dream app you want to see in 2016?
Basically an app that makes them more structurally stable. Like, they don't break as easily. Also, would love someone to explain to me what iCloud is next year.

I'm with you. What are your other hopes for 2016?
That Melbourne's weather improves.

Jake, Davie, Tom, Matt, in their twenties, work together at their own fashion label in Sydney

Jake: Next year? It'll probably be full of natural disasters.
Davie: Yeah, heaps of natural disasters.

Oh you're going straight for it. Maybe throw in some celebrity deaths as well.
Jake: I don't want any more Kim and Kanye. That's my hope for 2016. I don't mind Kim, but Kanye is the worst. In my opinion.

Agree to disagree. Will gay marriage be legalised next year?
Jake: Yep, fingers crossed.
Late 2016, definitely.

Are we going to legalising marijuana?
Tom: Nope, that'll never happen here.

How about driverless cars? Any freaky robot technology?
Tom: I hope not. If so, I quit.
Matt: Yep, I'll move to the hills.

Any dumb food trends? What are you guys eating today?
Davie: We're eating burgers. Probably Japanese will get big, I reckon. And more meat. Heavy meat diets.

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