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Hey Ron!

Hey Ron! - Racial Slurs

"Cracker" is a sensitive word. I don’t know if it’s ever truly appropriate to say it unless you’re having some crackers as a snack with some Whiz from a can. Back in the Shaft and Superfly days, the cops used to call black people the n-word and black people used to say, “These damn crackers!" or "These damn peckerwoods need to get off my back!” So I just associate it with that era. When I’m joking with a white person I’ll say, “These goddamn crackers don’t know how to act.” But I only say that to people I know.

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I was rolling craps in Vegas one time when this guy who had all this money asked me to place a bet with him. I almost said, “Are you serious, cracker? You’re gonna tell me how to spend my money? This is my money, cracker. I do what I want.” But I pulled back before I said it. It wasn't because I was afraid—I would have snapped that peckerwood up—but I didn’t want him or other people around us to think that I was some racist guy when I’m as light as most white people.

I think I might like saying "peckerwood" even more than "cracker." I don’t know where the term originated; I just like the way it sounds. It rolls off my tongue smoothly. I have to talk to my grandparents and find out how they came up with that. Maybe it means that white people have small penises. I find the word quite interesting. It doesn’t have a different meaning than cracker—one is not stronger than the other. I just started saying it because I got tired of calling people crackers. It's not a word not too many people are using right now. I’m bringing it back.

Even though both of the words mean the same thing, there are certain types of white people I wouldn’t call cracker. I’d call a biker a peckerwood, not a cracker. I think cracker is more of a white-collar word. Blue-collar workers, such as cops, are peckerwoods—they are people who get on your nerves more, the ones who can do something bad or irritating to you.

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Then again, I'm more likely to use "asshole" when referring to cops. They're too used to the word "pig," so I wouldn't recommend using it. I would call a cop anything that would make him angry. I would love to make up a new word to call cops. If someone has an idea, please leave it in the comments. Anything stupid and demeaning.

I won’t hesitate to call someone from the South a redneck, because they like to call us yanks. They brag about being from the “Dirty South,” but to me that’s demeaning. You’re bragging about how poor you are? You’re filthy? Why are you celebrating that? Why would you want people to know that you bathe with the same water you brush your teeth with? They got that 8 Mile mentality down there.

RON HEMPHILL

Previously on Hey Ron!

IT RAGE
I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY MAMA
KENNY POWERS SUCKS