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Alert! There’s an Epidemic of People Confessing to Their Darkest, Dirtiest Indie Secrets

"An ex-girlfriend cheated on me with a Zuton."
Daisy Jones
London, GB

This article originally appeared on Noisey UK.

Way back in the mid-00s, when your worth was determined by the badges on your blazer, I snuck into the now-defunct London venue Astoria and came face-to-face with my idol at the time: Carl Barât of The Libertines. He was standing there, like a glossy page torn out of the NME come to life, one arm slung around a tiny-fringed XFM DJ, a thin dusting of white powder around one nostril. I marched over to him, words falling out of my mouth with every step, and confessed my undying, everlasting love. He tried to escape as soon as possible, obviously, but not before he pressed a harmonica—which was stuffed with Rizlas—into my clammy, 14-year-old hand.

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That harmonica now sits in a dusty box on top of my wardrobe, like a dirty souvenir of the indie days I, and many others, firmly left behind. It sits in the same metaphorical bin as Faceparty, New Young Pony Club T-shirts, pointed leather shoes, and Horrors haircuts—and I thought that dark period between 2001 and Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire” would never, ever be revisited.

However, it’s been long enough now that we can all look back at our dirty little indie secrets with something resembling fondness. Earlier this week, for instance, we got Johnny Borrell—the white-trousered, turbo-mouthed singer of Razorlight—to narrate a definitive history of Landfill Indie music, flogging the horse that had long been dead in the name of memories, simultaneously sparking swathes of Twitter users to reminisce about their own dark indie confessions.

Earlier today, these confessions started swimming under the hashtag: #indieamnesty. Here are some of our favorites:

Once taught Luke Kook to play 'Brimful Of Asha' on an acoustic guitar, at a party in Camden #indieamnesty

— Clive Martin (@thugclive) April 6, 2016

#indieamnesty I once had a polyphonic ringtone of Don't Look Back Into The Sun

— Wile E Kouyaté (@tomvictor) April 6, 2016

Started fights on NME chat #indieamnesty

— JC (@Jonnyishh) April 6, 2016

i stole a cardboard cutout of black rebel motorcycle club from outside cardiff barfly with a girl i met on faceparty #indieamnesty

— emma garland (@emmaggarland) April 6, 2016

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Went back to Pete’s flat then freaked out when everyone started doing heroin, my dad had to pick me up #indieamnesty https://t.co/JZaP3euuh0

— Sam Wolfson (@samwolfson) April 6, 2016

Tried to discourage Luke Kooks from pushing a television out of the first storey window of a Travelodge in, iirc, Peterborough #indieamnesty

— Josh Hall (@JoshAJHall) April 6, 2016

When xfm got bought by capital a friend & me held a candlelit memorial in our classroom & our form tutor came and yelled at us #indieamnesty

— Never Kiss a Torah (@Flossieraptor) April 6, 2016

Age 16, interviewed the Magic Numbers moments after having done poppers for the first time #indieamnesty

— Laura Snapes (@laurasnapes) April 6, 2016

An ex-girlfriend cheated on me with a Zuton #indieamnesty

— Sean (@SeanPStanley) April 6, 2016

i was infatuated with luke kooks until i saw him try to set a fedora on fire onstage for 5 mins, but it was flame resistant #indieamnesty

— Bo Rocha (@borocha) April 6, 2016

Was in the coral #indieamnesty

— Bill Ryder-Jones (@BRyderJones) April 6, 2016

That's just skimming the surface of it. If you've ever worn a corduroy blazer, followed The Pigeon Detectives on tour, or snogged someone from The Automatic, do the decent thing and let everybody on the internet know. This is a safe space—we're all in it together.

Follow Daisy on Twitter.