Remember the glory days of the iTunes music store? Over the last few years Spotify's vampiric kiss has deteriorated the digital bazaar into a ghost of its former self, populated only by jocks streaming dubstep fitness podcasts and the elderly throwing racks on Andrea Botticelli deluxe albums. In middleschool, though, I was obsessed. Not knowing what else to do online (besides turning off safesearch and looking up explicit keywords on Google Images) I'd spend hours rinsing 30-second pre-release clips from The Carter II or following obscure flame wars on the "user reviews" page for Hybrid Theory. And, of course, there were Celebrity Playlists. Between 2003 and 2011 iTunes curated bi-weekly mixtapes from an absurd spectrum of figures, featuring everyone from Dale Earnhardt Jr. to Andy Milonakis (whose selection offered me a surpisingly comprehensive introduction to dancehall) compiling their favorite tracks and writing brief anecdotes for each song. The latter were the best part, providing the rare sight of athletes, musicians and actors attempting to perform something approaching the arcane art of music journalism. Delving into the archives I've made a playlist of my own—here are the greatest iTunes celebrity anecdotes ever, featuring Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s flowering sexuality, the marital routines of Heidi Klum and Seal, what may be Kim Kardashian's first public statement on Kanye, David Duchovny's apocryphal interpretation of The Allman Brothers, and much, much more.Kanye West on "Scar Tissue" by Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Red Hot Chili Peppers are my favorite group of all times, he says 'broken jaw' on it too so you know I like that."Kanye West on "The Reason" by Hoobastank: "Them my home boys I always see them we go to places like England and Canada. We always kicking it backstage you know just having a good time."Vanessa Hudgens on "The Reason" by Hoobastank: "This song is very relatable."
Avril Lavigne on "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette: "I love how this song was written with all the different examples Alanis uses of things being ironic."Britney Spears on "Low (feat. T-Pain)" by Flo Rida: "I always work out to this song especially when I am at spin class."
Kiefer Sutherland on "Run" by Snow Patrol: "This band is just cool."Donny Osmond on "Tell Her This" by Del Amitri: "I just like it."
Jerry Bruckheimer on "Lose Yourself" by Eminem: "Believe it or not (and I don't mean to throw out stats), but this is Em's first # 1 hit and also featured in an urban movie (8 Mile). If you need inspiration and don't get it from this song, pack it in."
Heidi Klum on "Familiar Feeling (Timo Maas Main Mix)" by Moloko: "I listen to this with my husband in the car when we go for long drives, which is pretty often. Good car music!"Heidi Klum on "Home (Live)" by Zero 7: "When we make up our slide shows on iPhoto, this is the music that plays all the time as we watch our personal photos."Train on "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent & Olivia: "I want to be able to write that kind of sex stuff, but I can't."
Kim Kardashian on "Flashing Lights" by Kanye West: "Kanye is stylish, classy and unique. His collaboration with Spike Jonze on this video is genius! Hype brings Kanye's vision to life. This song is fun and catchy!"BMX star Josh Hansen on "Anarchy Camp" by NOFX: "It's not your typical NOFX song, but the Jamaican flair makes it pretty chill."
DJ Tiesto on "Californication" by Red Hot Chili Peppers: "When I'm not in the mood for listening to dance music, I love to listen to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers because of their own unique style."David Duchovny on "Melissa" by The Allman Brothers Band: "Heartbreaking faux cowboy love song. Whispers of eternity and sacrifice. Greg Allman sings like he knows the feeling."Dale Earnhardt Jr. on "Caught Up in You" by 38 Special: "I remember hearing this song when I was a boy, right about the time I started stealing daddy's Playboy magazines. It kick-started my curiousity about girls at a young age."Trey Anastasio on "Coming in from the Cold" by Bob Marley: "You could pick any Bob Marley song, but this has always been a favorite. The lyric is exceeded only by the killing drum riff at the top of the song."
Oscar De La Hoya on "Sinnerman" by Nina Simone: "This is music that’s perfect to just think to. It gets me focused, whether it’s about an opponent or a business deal."BMX star Anthony Napolitan on "Live Your Life (feat. Rihanna)" by T.I.: "The song is pretty self-explanatory: just live your life. That is kind of how I lead my own life. I just want to live. This song keeps me reminded of that."BMX star Anthony Napolitan on "Paper Planes" by M.I.A.: "I think I have a thing for female singers; I like the way they sound. MIA is a very unique one at that. This is an all-time favorite for me. I just like it!"Daft Punk on "Live and Let Die" by Paul McCartney: "Now available on iTunes :-)."Ezra Marcus is on twitter —@ezra_marc
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