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Jamelia Has Slayed Piers Morgan Over the Beyonce Album

"Newsflash honey... It wasn't made for you."
Emma Garland
London, GB

Beyoncé's Lemonade is a lot to drink in. As a work of art—a visual album that challenges the way in which music is made and consumed—it is unparallelled. As a political statement, it is unapologetic in its blackness. It is a triumph on so many levels that due praise has not yet been given for the fact that it has made Jack White relevant in 2016. You could spend years properly deconstructing the themes, the politics, the lyrical and visual symbolism, it's inventive use of sampling; how it reclaims rock's black female legacy, what it means for Beyoncé's career, marriage, power, what it means for the relationship between politics and pop more broadly. There is a degree in Beyoncé Studies for a reason. What I really need though, said absolutely nobody on this big blue planet, is to know what Piers Morgan thinks about it.


For the record, Piers Morgan is not impressed. Piers Morgan thinks the whole thing "smacks of shameless exploitation." Piers Morgan prefers "the old Beyoncé. The less inflammatory, agitating one… The one who didn’t play the race card so deliberately and to my mind, unnecessarily."

Piers Morgan is a fart in the echo chambers of the internet, an empty opinion generater to a weekly deadline at The Daily Mail. Someone needed to correct him, but few have the strength and patience required. Fortunately, Jamelia came swinging with a rebuttal strong enough to body an elephant.

"I absolutely understand why you didn’t get the Beyoncé album, *newsflash honey*… It wasn’t made for you… And I’m going to need you to be cool with that," she begins. Let's all take a moment here to appreciate how good this would have been if it were televised. "LISTEN", says Jamelia Niela Davis pointing at Piers Morgan on Loose Women at 11 AM, "Honey…". It would have done more to feed the UK population than a truck full of Sainsbury's vouchers.

"As a black woman, I am deeply offended by your lack of due care when writing this article, but I would like to take this opportunity to help you out," Jamelia writes. "You are a middle aged, British white man, you have no idea, I repeat, NO. IDEA. What it is like to be a Black Woman, and furthermore, the sacrificial, struggle-filled, tongue-biting, mask-wearing fight it is to become a successful one."


Then she goes on to break down his argument point-by-point until all that is left of it is ash and cinders and beautiful irrelevance.

Jamelia has slayed Piers Morgan. She has slayed him and now he is dead. But then, was there ever really much hope for a hot take from a tabloid journalist whose opening gambit is "I never like it when entertainers go all political"—a line that wouldn't even make it into a Russell Brand stand-up when delivered ironically. You can read the full thing on her site, and view Piers Morgan's existential crisis about it below.

Dear @Jamelia, read, digested, noted. Thank you.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 25, 2016

Dear @Jamelia, saying I can't have an opinion on @Beyonce because I'm a 'middle-aged British white man' is a tad racist, no?

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 27, 2016

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