Congratulations: you made it to Friday. Rejoice! Dunno about your weekend plans, but we’re looking forward to a glorious and fulfilling weekend of catching up on some reeeeeeeally important life tasks. Life tasks like bingewatching hours and hours of Narcos, balancing full pizzas for one on our stomachs, and… hittin’ the bong. Yep, we’re gonna get baked—'cause know what the best part of getting baked is? GETTING THE MUNCHIES. Seriously, inhaling an entire box of Oreos and drowning it with a litre of milk will never, ever taste as empowering as when you do it after toking up. In honor of this important ritual, here are the most delectable, tasty songs to compliment the munchies we sincerely hope you experience this weekend.This man is a genius. He’s combined two of the best things on the planet – sex and weed – into one smorgasbord of lusty, seductive and purple-hazed glory. Just check out these two lines:
Sex give me the munchies
And I wanna eat it up, oh
Now, the only quibble we have with this whole thing R. Kelly's got going on is that it's scientifically impossible to go to town on a frozen lasagne and still feel like a Sex God or Goddess. That’s superhuman, R. Kelly.
We got the mega munchies.
Got to make our pizza as big as some countries.
How much pizza do you think we can chow?
More than our parents would ever allow.
We're gonna make a master-piece a pizza.
A work of art like the Mona Lisa.
It's gonna be high like the Tower of Pisa.
But to get there…You don't need a visa.'Ok, so the fact that a song with lyrics like those actually made it through into an Olsen Twins movie meant for INNOCENT CHILDREN is kind of amazing. The video is glorious, too: it's a bunch of cute little girls looking really stoked about doing sick, sick things to pizza—actually, the kinds of things that only really stoned people would consider a good idea. (Remember that time you experimented with whipped cream and pizza? Yeah, didn't think you'd want to reminisce about that little incident.)
But you're scared because you think that they will know you're high
So you walk around the block to buy some timeYou finally decide to go into the store
But you're so high you don't know why you're there anymore
So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell out of thereYou're walking home and you're mouth is dry
You should have bought some juice and snacks
But you were too high'WE FEEL YOU, JON. Seriously, who hasn't had this dilemma? You get really high, you're like 'fuck, why don't I have any snacks', you embark on a mission to retrieve snacks, you face roadblocks such as full-on confusion and paralyzing paranoia, maybe you make it to a store, you spend like 2 hours in there deliberating (salted peanuts? unsalted peanuts? salted? unsalted? WHICH ONES?!?!) and finally, you emerge outta that black hole with yogurt or some shit you didn't want. The struggle is so, so real.I get home, I got the munchies, binge on all my Twinkies
Throw up in the tub and I go to sleep
And I drank up all my money, tastin' kind of lonelyK, in no way are we advicating alcohol-induced bulimia here, but Tove Lo, we feel you. We all know what it's like to feel all heartbroken and mopey and muffle all the feels with a combination of alcohol, weed and fooooooood. So forget about those fuckbois, ladies, and let those Twinkies soak up your tears and cushion your heartbreak. TWINKIES>BOYS. Any day.
and it ain't enough room to fit the other chicks inside
I'm so hungry wit tha munchies ima eat everything in siiiiiight
Me and my blueberrys together and everything's all rightThe sheer amount of times the word 'blueberry' is repeated in this song is enough to bump your munchies up to a whole other level of intense. Just think of all the things you can make with blueberries! You could throw a blueberry pie into your shitty little microwave and bathe that thang in some oozing vanille ice cream. You could whip out the blender and make a sassy little blueberry milkshake, and douse the whole beast in epic mountains of whipped cream. Or you could just have a bowl of blueberries and eat it endlessly, just fall into a vortex of blueberries, never look back, blueberries are YOUR life now, BLUEBERRIES. Ok, you get the point, but this song is chill and gets you stoked on blueberries. 'Nuff said.'She tastes like cola sweet sweet sugar cola
when I took a sip from her lips she send me on a trip
she keeps me up at night and that's all because she kicksStop your diet baby you don't have to slim down
I love your curves and believe me it is every pound
stop your diet come on do it for me
I love you round round round cause you're so sexy'Lou Bega, you brilliant, brilliant man. THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVER. Not only does it make us pine for Coca-Cola - a classic Munchies go-to - but it makes ladies feel TOTALLY OKAY about thinking about coca-cola, downing that coca-cola, maybe ordering a kebab and a medium pizza as a snack and just lounging on the couch starting at the ceiling. Props to you, Lou Bega: you've unwittingly made a stoner feminist anthem for the hungry ladies hiding in all of us.
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1. Sex Weed – R. Kelly
Sex give me the munchies
And I wanna eat it up, oh
Now, the only quibble we have with this whole thing R. Kelly's got going on is that it's scientifically impossible to go to town on a frozen lasagne and still feel like a Sex God or Goddess. That’s superhuman, R. Kelly.
2. Gimme Pizza - The Olsen Twins
'Now we're feeling kinda hungry.
We got the mega munchies.
Got to make our pizza as big as some countries.
How much pizza do you think we can chow?
More than our parents would ever allow.
We're gonna make a master-piece a pizza.
A work of art like the Mona Lisa.
It's gonna be high like the Tower of Pisa.
But to get there…You don't need a visa.'Ok, so the fact that a song with lyrics like those actually made it through into an Olsen Twins movie meant for INNOCENT CHILDREN is kind of amazing. The video is glorious, too: it's a bunch of cute little girls looking really stoked about doing sick, sick things to pizza—actually, the kinds of things that only really stoned people would consider a good idea. (Remember that time you experimented with whipped cream and pizza? Yeah, didn't think you'd want to reminisce about that little incident.)
3. High as Fuck - Jon Lajoie
'You need snacks so you walk to the corner store
But you're scared because you think that they will know you're high
So you walk around the block to buy some time
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But you're so high you don't know why you're there anymore
So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell out of thereYou're walking home and you're mouth is dry
You should have bought some juice and snacks
But you were too high'WE FEEL YOU, JON. Seriously, who hasn't had this dilemma? You get really high, you're like 'fuck, why don't I have any snacks', you embark on a mission to retrieve snacks, you face roadblocks such as full-on confusion and paralyzing paranoia, maybe you make it to a store, you spend like 2 hours in there deliberating (salted peanuts? unsalted peanuts? salted? unsalted? WHICH ONES?!?!) and finally, you emerge outta that black hole with yogurt or some shit you didn't want. The struggle is so, so real.
4. Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo
Throw up in the tub and I go to sleep
And I drank up all my money, tastin' kind of lonelyK, in no way are we advicating alcohol-induced bulimia here, but Tove Lo, we feel you. We all know what it's like to feel all heartbroken and mopey and muffle all the feels with a combination of alcohol, weed and fooooooood. So forget about those fuckbois, ladies, and let those Twinkies soak up your tears and cushion your heartbreak. TWINKIES>BOYS. Any day.
5. Blueberry Yum Yum - Ludacris & Sleepy Brown
Get on in that stinkin' Lincoln crank it up and riiiiide
and it ain't enough room to fit the other chicks inside
I'm so hungry wit tha munchies ima eat everything in siiiiiight
Me and my blueberrys together and everything's all right
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6. Sweet Like Cola - Lou Bega
when I took a sip from her lips she send me on a trip
she keeps me up at night and that's all because she kicksStop your diet baby you don't have to slim down
I love your curves and believe me it is every pound
stop your diet come on do it for me
I love you round round round cause you're so sexy'Lou Bega, you brilliant, brilliant man. THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVER. Not only does it make us pine for Coca-Cola - a classic Munchies go-to - but it makes ladies feel TOTALLY OKAY about thinking about coca-cola, downing that coca-cola, maybe ordering a kebab and a medium pizza as a snack and just lounging on the couch starting at the ceiling. Props to you, Lou Bega: you've unwittingly made a stoner feminist anthem for the hungry ladies hiding in all of us.
