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There's an Insane Internet Conspiracy Theory That Katy Perry and JonBenét Ramsey Are the Same Person

Katy Perry + JonBenét Ramsay = You guys are pretty dumb.
February 26, 2016, 6:46pm

Photo via YouTube

People nowadays don’t need much to freak out over something. First the whole flat earth conspiracy with B.o.B and who can forget when we thought Avril Lavigne was killed and replaced with an actress? Well, the internet gonna internet and now it seems to have been busy cooking up another half-baked conspiracy story: that JonBenét Ramsey, a 6-year-old pageant girl who was murdered in her house in Colorado in 1996, grew up to be…Katy Perry. Yes, "Fireworks" and still suspected target of Taylor Swift-diss track "Bad Blood," Katy Perry.

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According to The Kernel, conspiracy theorists believe that Ramsey's parents conjured up a fake murder plot so she could then be reborn as the milkshake-breast spewing pop star of today. Along with other important evidence like how Perry and Ramsey have similar eyebrows and how their parents look alike. But perhaps, the most damning evidence of all is that the two starlets both know the lyrics to "God Bless America."

But don't take our word for it here are a couple videos using CIA-level photoshop cross-fade techniques that expose the STRIKING similarities between the two. The author of the video also warns the "liars out there" that “If anyone of you have told people in the past that this person died, you need to go tell people you were wrong. Otherwise you are still a liar and a false witness to death. Nobody died, nobody got hurt. Period." and that we "are in fact a false witness to murder and death. That’s a fact." Listen, we've all been to the weird parts of the internet, and this is definitely part of it. But, hey since we're all theorizing shit up maybe "E.T." proves she's an alien. Hell, "Roar" is probably her finally admitting she's an Animorph. God, why are all of you so stupid. Watch the videos below and leave us alone.

Byron Yan is tired of covering this bullshit. Follow him on Twitter.