When you go into the recording studio and do vocal tracks, the sound engineer does this really awful thing where he or she cuts out all the instrumental tracks behind the vocals so he/she can play with the reverb, levels, whatever. He/she will crank up the vocals so loud that it echoes throughout the studio and, if you're the vocalist, you will shudder with embarrassment. At least, I do. Hearing your own voice scream all dry and alone is disgusting. It’s absolutely disgusting. However, when it’s other people’s heart-felt screams, I find it hilarious.The other day my friend sent me “Running With The Devil” by Van Halen with all the instrumental tracks removed so it was just David Lee Roth hollering away. After giggling at Roth’s hilariously sexy yelps, I followed the YouTube rabbit hole of vocals-only tracks and found some gems. Enjoy.(Question: Who are the people taking the time to make these videos? Seriously. I am dying to know.)Dave Mustaine sounds like he is doing high school girl beat poetry on each verse. “What do you mean I hurt your feelings? I didn’t know you had any feelings.” Sometimes, lyrics are not as embarrassing when they have guitars behind them. Standing alone, whoa. Kind of emo, dude.Oh my God. As if Chester of Linkin Park has not embarrassed himself enough just by existing… Remove the “music” from this song and the vocals end up flip-flopping between Nick Carter to Boys to Men to Eddie Vedder. Who is be trying to sing like? What is the concept? Linkin Park is so confusing. The best part is the lyric “All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. I might end up failing too, but I know that you were just like me…” What the fuck are you talking about?The first 10 seconds of this song is just David Lee Roth doing little yelps, then he blasts into the verse, and then back to more yelps, screams, and a couple “I’ll tell ya all ‘bout it.” I imagine him singing this in front of his bedroom mirror while he tries on bikini bottoms and lip-gloss.This sounds like some cheesy joke track that they would play at a Halloween carnival to scare snarky, hot-headed teenagers who do not follow the rules. Cool burp at 2:12.Robert Plant had a really beautiful voice (and an even better penis, am I right, ladies? Kidding.) But when you remove his old friend Jimmy’s guitar from the whole thing, it sounds like he’s giving the world’s most overly dramatic fake orgasm. It’s pretty great.(If you want to learn how to sing like Robert Plant, this adult man with his cue cards and half-balding, half-flowing locks is happy to help you.)Reverb does wonders sometimes, but Ann Wilson does not really need it. She’s basically singing Opera here. No auto-tuning or pitch correcting needed here (or available). Let’s hashtag this with “talent.”@myszkaway
Advertisement