Even if you were to spend your entire life scouring the ends of the earth, it's doubtful that you would uncover something more beloved by Americans than old-fashioned, red-blooded, political grandstanding. Is it something in the water? Maybe we all just have a bit of a bloated Dixiecrat inside us. Whatever the case, swagger—particularly of the political kind—is what our nation was built on, and it looks as though there's no way in hell that fact will change anytime soon.
So you can imagine that it brought a single, glistening tear to our collective eyes when former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee posted a tweet during last night's Democratic presidential debate that likened voting for Senator Bernie Sanders to giving your pet dog to a North Korean chef.
The media-bait tweet read as follows: "I trust @BernieSanders with my tax dollars like I trust a North Korean chef with my labrador! #DemDebate." The statement, which targeted the Democratic candidate while he was on stage in Las Vegas last night, has since been retweeted by more than 7,000 people.
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) October 14, 2015
You might be aware that the object of Republican presidential candidate Huckabee's righteous ire, Bernie Sanders, is a self-proclaimed Democratic Socialist and is a senator for the maple-guzzling state of Vermont. He's also, in Huckabee's opinion, somehow analogous to the obviously un-American population of North Korea. Huckabee, of course, is the former governor of Arkansas who spent much of his life as a Southern Baptist minister. His cheeky version of dad humor has been lauded by fans in the past, but it seems to have a struck a sour chord this time. After the ever-insightful tweet was released to the masses, Huckabee received a shitload of responses lambasting his remark as being overtly racist. That's when Huckabee decided to let his international diplomacy skills really shine by doubling down and dismissing the "poor liberal" detractors who "think it's racist to deplore a brutal dictatorship."
(On a side note, do you think Huckabee somehow forgot about the time his own son cruelly killed a "mangy" dog at a Boy Scout camp? Or is that kind of patriotic behavior just totally cool with him?)
Yes, there is a history dating back centuries of eating dogs in Korea, as there is in China and Vietnam. But the practice is falling out of favor in South Korea, where animal rights activists have been urging people not to eat man's best friend. Less is known about what is going on in North Korea as far as dog-eating goes, although they eat very little meat there in general.
Anywho, both tweets were only a drop in the bucket as far as totally batshit-crazy #DemDebate tweets are concerned. Presidential candidate and Republican senator of South Carolina Lindsey Graham opted to instead stand up for the detainees of Guantanamo Bay detention camp by saying that he "Wouldn't make Gitmo detainees watch all of this." Ah yes, unconstitutionally having your rights as a human being continually ignored is so much better than watching a night of bland debates.
— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) October 14, 2015
Gilded hair enthusiast and former Pizza Hut spokesman Donald Trump was super impressed he made it onto TV last night. "Wow, I am giving a speech on OAN. Much more exciting than debate!" To further illustrate that he has his priorities in order, Trump later tweeted: "#DemDebate was really boring but had a lot of fun live tweeting and picked up by far the most followers."
Wow, I am giving a speech on OAN. Much more exciting than debate! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 14, 2015
The next GOP debate will be held on November 10. Dogs in America and North Korea alike will be cowering.