Killing It: The Leaving Your Porn Stash in the Club Edition

There's enough gossip going around the world of electronic music that it probably deserves its own TMZ, Gawker, and Perez Hilton. We keep track of the drama, the beef, the LOLs, the
dramatic build-ups, and the tragic drops so you don't have to. Now, let's see who killed it this week.

SOMEONE LEFT A LOT OF PORN AT FABRIC

Who are you? Why did you bring your entire "adult DVD" collection to Fabric? Can we talk to you about this? What are your favorite sex positions? Please hit us up we are dying to talk to you.

FLORIDA IS NOT SO TURNT

This week was a really good week to get arrested. Before the Soujia Boy and the Bieber incidents (not sure it you heard about that, it wasn't really a big deal), our dawg Carnage was supposedly brought off stage midway through his set at Club Cinema and detained for violating Florida's club curfew—which instantly turned him into both a hero and a meme. Club Cinema has since accused the cops of harrassment. Just another day in sunny South Florida. Stop going there, everyone!

EDM VALENTINE'S CARDS ARE VERY SEDUCTIVE

Someone went ahead and paired lyrics from EDM hits with soulful pictures of their superstar DJ creators. You can find it all on Twitter, obviously. We're kind of mad that these actually don't suck and are kind of funny… if only because we wish we'd thought of them first. Internet: 1, THUMP: 0.

TAKING THE PISS OUT OF BOILER ROOM

Leave it to the Australians to call their new online DJ show "Toilet Room." The series kicked off with a set by Swamp 81's Paleman, and actually went down inside a bathroom somewhere in Sydney. It is unclear whether the Boiler Room team thought this was funny. Do they even know how to laugh?

… AND SPEAKING OF SYDNEY, NIGHTLIFE KINDA SUCKS THERE NOW 

Sydney just announced new restrictions this week that no one seems to be happy about. After a spate of violent late-night attacks, including some fatal ones, the city decided that the solution is to enforce widespread lockouts—meaning, no one is allowed to enter a venue after 1:30AM or have a drink after 3AM.  Most of these clubs and bars have been running until 5AM, and they are now banding together to overturn these punitive laws. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens. Judging by the photo above, we assume that it really doesn't matter what time anything closes when it comes to people being dicks.

KIM DOTCOM WINS AGAIN

In just one week, the Megaupload criminal made EDM songs, launched a music sharing service, and started a political group called The Internet Party to run in the New Zealand elections. Oh yeah, and his EDM album's debut was on the two-year anniversary of the cops raiding his house. So while you guys are crying about how Kanye and Kim are alive, just remember that this guy exists. And his life is better than yours.