The Patriots, man. They are stupid and bad. The reasons are varied and grotesque, but they are simultaneously the best and the worst of us. Perennial winners, and dirty cheats. A model of professionalism, and dirty cheats. Gorgeous and efficient, and dirty cheats. They are Trump's America, solid gold painted over blackened, twisted hearts.Which brings us to last night, and a donor event hosted by incoming President, Donald Trump. While speaking to the crowd, old CheetoBoner picked out good friend and fellow weird horny old guy Robert Kraft and showered praise over the NFL's golden boys."In the audience we have somebody who's under no pressure whatsoever, cause' he's got a great quarterback named Tom Brady [Mouth remains open for a whole second, as Trump acquires enough air to get his horrible brain to remember the name of the Patriots' coach] and a great coach [more mouth-breathing] and a great coach named Belichick: [With all that air, only managed the last name. Inefficient brain and/or respiratory system!] Bob Kraft. So good luck, Bob. Your friend Tom just called. He feels good. He called to congratulate us. He feels good. Good luck. [In an exhausted, whimpering tone] You're gonna do great things."Apart from everything else that makes the Patriots so terrible—"The Patriot Way," the cheating, the dehumanizing reduction of players to pawns, the cheating—it is that triumvirate of poster boys, the rotten core, that defines them. And all three also happen to be very public supporters of Donald Trump. Kraft, Belichick, and Brady, the NFL's best and brightest and most handsome pajama salesman, think it's acceptable and even admirable to make a corrupt, bankrupted real estate developer with an openly racist platform the most powerful person in the world.A team that prides itself on never causing "distractions"—helpfully juxtaposed by Antonio Brown and the Steelers this week—now deserves every single question posed to every single person in the Patriots organization asking how they feel about their owner and quarterback and coach supporting the racist block of cheddar cheese who is now the President of these United States. Calling them the Patriots has never sounded more ridiculous.