
Named after Manhattan's Paradise Garage, this fast-paced form of dance music has changed drastically since its inception. Most recently it's gone from bourgeois turtleneck funk to catchy urban underground dance (The Streets) to minimalist rap (Dizzee Rascal) to pure digital cacophony (what it is today). Though definitions seem to change daily, and it is often called things like eski beat, down low, and grime (the genre's latest hero Wiley, just recorded a track called "What's It Called?"), the garage music of today is just a few spacious beats laid out on a Sony Playstation with a barrage of lightning-fast MCs screaming out what appears to be incredibly violent ragga. Most of the tracks are too loud and raw to be released, so they can only exist live. That is to say, the beats are made in some poor black kid's bedroom, then played on an illegal radio station where an MC can rap over them live. If you're at home, you can hit "record" on your tape player and, bang, you have the song—nobody else does. Despite most of these tracks never being released, most kids at "raves" (any organized garage night) know all the lyrics. About 70 percent of young people in London listen to underground garage even though it has virtually no commercial appeal. PIRATE RADIO
Most kids get their music from illegal radio stations. It is the only way to hear today's underground garage. A bunch of young kids (usually white) take over a small residential apartment in the ghettos of East London. They build a soundproof room and set up 90 percent of the station––the turntables, microphones, link box, and antennae. The antennae then sends a microwave signal to the transmitter, which is usually miles away on the top of a tenement flat (see the cover of Original Pirate Material). The transmitter is far away for two reasons: 1) it can be placed on the highest building in London and can therefore broadcast much farther than the flat they took over, and 2) when the Department of Trade and Industry finds the signal, it can only confiscate the transmitter (worth about $600) and will still have no idea where the actual radio station is. The biggest expense a pirate radio owner has, by far, is replacing confiscated transmitters. The DTI contends that pirate radio stations inadvertently scramble emergency-services signals and people are dying because of it. We think that's malarkey and they're just trying to justify their government-funded jobs. AYIA NAPA
A small Greek village that the underground garage scene has randomly chosen as their summer home. Where the faggy house scene has Ibiza, these kids have Aiya Napa. You have all the pirate radio owners and DJs, all the MCs, all the fans (not just from inner-city London but from all over Britain), all the crews, and all the criminals. These are the poorest and most dangerous kids in London, all drunk and high and ready to rumble. Dizzee Rascal was stabbed here, and plenty more people will inevitably go down this summer. The UK Garage Beefs Dizzee Rascal vs. Vice
Vice wrote about Dizzee back in April '03 for the "West Is The Best" Issue. We took photos of Dizzee boxing, punching holes in walls, and finally, holding his knife. Dizzee's manager, Nick Cage, asked us not to use the picture of the knife, but we used it anyway because we're not a PR agency. When he saw the article, Cage hit the fucking roof and threatened to rip our UK editor "limb from limb." Dizzee got stabbed about nine months later, and Cage sees that as proof that he was right and that Vice endangered Dizzee's life by not following his instructions. When anything about this story is mentioned, Cage turns beet-red with rage and runs out of the room. Most recently, he was in the offices of a large American record label talking about it and he almost punched a hole through the wall. Meanwhile, Dizzee is shrugging his shoulders in the background and telling us, "It was the realest article anybody wrote about me." Dizzee Rascal vs. So Solid Crew
As we just mentioned, Dizzee Rascal was stabbed numerous times in broad daylight by somebody who was allegedly upset that he allegedly pinched the ass of the first lady of So Solid, Lisa Maffia, in a club the night before. While Dizzee doesn't really roll with that much of a crew now—he split from Roll Deep on signing to XL—there's still bad feeling over the incident. So Solid Crew vs. New Garage Everybody
Because they inadvertently invented Grime garage by introducing gangsta elements to a previously "red wine and roses"–obsessed scene, So Solid feel pissed off that none of the Grime kids take them seriously. The 29-strong Brixton crew also owns a villa in Napa and its members have various beefs on a weekly basis with everybody. When Grime invades Napa this year, So Solid is going to be ready and waiting for it to go off. So Solid (mostly in their mid-20s upwards) and the young scamps that make up crews like Ruff Squad and East Connection are going to make them look old and redundant and nothing's meaner than an old dog who can't get it up any more. Marcus Nasty vs. Dee Double and Jammer
N.A.S.T.Y Crew founding member Marcus Nasty was in jail for a while, so a dreadlocked producer called Jammer took over the beats/management of Forest Gate's premier crew. When Marcus got out of prison, he sacked Jammer and dissed him in the garage press. Dee Double, N.A.S.T.Y's most popular MC next to Kano, also left in loyalty to Jammer, and MC Munkee left too. When this happened, Marcus Nasty went apeshit and even slapped Dee Double on stage at a rave in East London in January. Dee Double and Jammer are now working together with Munkee, while N.A.S.T.Y is now Marcus Nasty, Sharky, Kano, Hyper, and Ghetto. Both sides of the split are going to be in Napa this year. Look out. Wiley vs. Everybody
Everybody's saying that Wiley's Eskimo rave will be at Club Ice this year, and if this happens, there's going to be beefs every night. Not so much violent beefs, rather, every new MC who wants to make his name usually does it by dissing Wiley—considered the Dr. Dre of Grime—and then having a face-off with him on the mic. This is how Durrty Dugz made his name. Recently, Wiley broke his hand single-handedly taking on the security at one of his own Eskimo Dance raves because they wouldn't let one of his boys in. Right now, Wiley=God.