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The Band Interpol Has Been Stuck on a Tour Bus for Almost Two Days

Interpol, one of the greatest bands of the last ten years, is stuck on their tour bus in the middle of an apocalyptic snowstorm.
Image via Twitter User @brandon_curtis

​The latest epic east coast winter storm has devastated commerce, taken lives, and has now ruined a ​classic Noughties band's long-awaited comeback tour. The guys in Interpol, who are in the midst of a multi-city jaunt to ​support their new album, El Pintor, have apparently been trapped inside their tour bus for almost two whole days.

Snow plows trapped in the snow.-DK pic.twitter.com/igkxOEoNw5

— Interpol (@Interpol) November 19, 2014

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​Underneath all of that white shit is a town, some vehicles, roads, mailboxes, a bunch of unopened boxes of Interpol merch, and a few brave snow plows trying to free your favorite band from premature retirement.

And can I just say firemen are awesome. They just are yo. Serious ballers during these conditions.-DK

— Interpol (@Interpol) November 19, 2014

The above tweet was the last communication we've received from the band thus far. Obviously, firemen ARE awesome and we will keep you updated on this tense ordeal, but in the meantime, let's backtrack.

​This high-pressure situation started when the band had to cancel their show in Toronto due to the inclement weather that trapped them in Buffalo, New York. They released a ​statement to their Canadian fans saying the following:

​ Dear Toronto,

Our bus is trapped in a snowstorm just outside of Buffalo. We haven't moved our position on the road in over nine hours. Unfortunately, we'll have to cancel tonight's concert at the Kool Haus. We were greatly looking forward to the show but the big bad winter has come early this year. We will be informing people of a new date as soon as we can.

​Obviously, it's only gotten worse from there. The guys are drinking themselves into oblivion, praying to be released from their wintery tomb, and doing their best not to eat each other like that  ​movie about those guys who eat each other.

Hour 13 trapped in the snow. Dry goods and vodka. We will make it. -DK pic.twitter.com/bEQhaUokKi

— Interpol (@Interpol) November 18, 2014

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Liquor and ramen noodles can only sustain them for so long before they start to go stir crazy. If you've seen The Shining, Panic Room, or that Simpsons episode where Homer and Mr. Burns get caught in the blizzard, you know how difficult it can be to maintain your sanity when trapped in an enclosed spaced for longer than, like, 20 minutes.

Try doing it for two days with a bunch of dudes marinating in their own BO and sweating alcohol.

Perhaps Interpol can use this valuable time to reconnect with each other. Maybe they can remember why they started a band in the first place and rededicate themselves to art over commerce. They could pass the hours in confinement by writing, recording, releasing, and marketing a brand new, free album from inside the bus. With Garage Band, WiFi, Twitter, and a Soundcloud account, anything is possible. This could be like their Beyonce-surprise-album-release moment, except Beyonce wasn't, you know, trapped in a snowstorm.

You might be asking how they'd plug in their instruments though. Well, instead of getting a full session going, why not experiment with whatever the fuck they have laying around? When you shake a bag of Starbursts around, it kind resembles the sound of maracas. Drums? Hit yourself in the face really hard. Not only does that resemble percussion, it will keep you from passing out. Guitars? Go acoustic and fashion a guitar out of an empty box of Cheez-Its and straightened-out pubic hair. What about replicating Auto-Tune? Easy. Sing into an empty bucket. It's the same thing.

I'm not saying it's going to be a breeze to replicate a complete album cycle from inside a tour bus in the middle of an apocalyptic snowstorm. I'm just saying, don't let this opportunity go to waste, Interpol. Your fans are waiting! Though, chances are good that whatever you come up with still won't top  Turn On the Bright Lights. Hang in there, boys!

Follow Dave Schilling on ​Twitter.