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How Beautiful Is Whatever Frank Ocean Building About to Be?

Have you ever seen a sunset that moved you to tears? Imagine that.

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Frank Ocean is building something. There’s a video of him, hard at work, streaming right now through Apple Music on his website. And whatever he is building is a prelude, some sort of thematic link, to his album, the follow-up to the universally beloved and acclaimed Channel Orange. That album changed lives. It reinvigorated contemporary music with a soul—musically speaking, but more importantly spiritually speaking—that was missing. We can only assume that the structure, the apparatus, the grand item Frank is piecing together in his workshop will have the same effect. It will revolutionize the way that we think about the very nature of solid objects. It will shift our perception of the material world. How beautiful is it about to be?


It will be, when built, like the sturdiest chair you have ever sat upon, a haven for your tired legs. Will it be a literal chair? Well, it’s hard to say.

It should be clear what he’s building: It’s a stairway to literal enlightenment. Each step, imbued with the power of Frank’s touch, is going to be a metaphorical and literal step on the climb to something higher. At the top: Nirvana (the state of being, not the band, although Frank Ocean’s music will also be good because he is, among other things he represents, our generation’s Kurt Cobain).

Actually, he’s making a wooden platform, upon which will rest a statue that makes Michaelangelo’s David look like a knockoff GI Joe figurine. It will make the Venus de Milo look like a Lego person. It will make The Thinker look like a bad piece of Joe Dirt fan art.

There’s something just so magically progressive that happens when you listen to nothing. The beauty that Frank is pursuing—it comes from within ourselves, in that it already exists. Frank is building us.

He’s building a law office called Ocean, Ocean, and Ocean so he can finally countersue Don Henley and the rest of the Eagles.

The only band Frank Ocean needs is a bandSAW, motherfuckers.

If there’s one thing we know, it’s that Frank Ocean loves to tease his fans. For instance, on Channel Orange cut “Pilot Jones,” the talented songwriter cryptically talked about “refrigerators” and “ice cold, baby.” It was a hint: Armed with a now-classic album and a die grinder, he’s building an ice sculpture in the shape of a newborn baby, which he will name “River.” The statue will melt our hearts, but it will never melt.


What’s the biggest challenge in this life? Identity? Happiness? Love? It doesn’t matter, because Frank is building the solution.

“While y’all are out here planking, I’m busy sanding planks.” – Frank Ocean, a man too good for memes.

As the voice of his generation, Frank is distraught at reports about millennials not liking sex. He’s decided to create the Strawberry Swing—the ultimate sex structure that will reinvigorate everyone’s libido.

What’s the best meal you’ve ever eaten? Did you eat it off of a table? What if… you could have that table to be your own, always fully stocked with meals as good as that one? What then? Might you feast, eternally satisfied? One imagines it would be so. Is Frank Ocean building just such a table? Possibly.

Have you ever seen a sunset that moved you to tears? Imagine that.

Channeling carpenter ants, Ocean is building a human-size anthill nest where he can hide away from the constant shaming of the internet.

Nature. Think about it.

Distraught since losing a game of Connect Four to Lil B, Frank is building a life-sized Jenga set to assert his genius and penchant for, literally, densely layered projects.

The black and white film suggests that the reality in which we live does not yet have color, and we don’t even know it. Frank is building the rainbow. We will see—actually, see—soon.

Frank is building Nintendo’s next console, the NX. It will be a pioneering work for carpentry-based gaming, which just became a thing now. Unfortunately, there will only be one in existence so you have to go over to his place and awkwardly hang out if you want to play the next Zelda game.


Frank Ocean’s about to whip out a vise—on our hearts.

Inspired by the Trojan War and the recent film Finding Dory Mr. Ocean, in the midst of the album-making process, decided to build a large scale wooden cast as a homage to the sea lion Becky. What is he infiltrating? Once again, our hearts, you idiot.

It is Buddha. Clear your mind.

It is an altar upon which we place all nostalgia.

It is the future.

He’s building a Pokestop, obviously.

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