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Music

Let's Trade: Mad Balls for Mad Reviews

Send me things and I'll write about your shitty (great) band.

I've been thinking a lot about Mad Balls. Remember those? They were a popular toy in the 80s and were basically just these squishy, useless balls with hideous faces staring out at you as if to say, "I hate you." As a young lesbian I would collect them all and carry them around in my backpack. Because I wasn't really good at talking to people, if I spotted someone I wanted to be friends with I'd just shove a Mad Ball in their face and be like "I have this," and hope that we would be friends then.

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Because I like to think of myself as the Evita of music journalism by extending my wealth and influence to the common man (she did that, right?) I'm proposing that you people in bands look through all of your thrift stores, Ebays, and whatevers, find me Mad Balls (THESE Mad Balls, not pictures of your balls. Don't get cute) send them to me at the address I will post below along with your album, and in exchange, I'll review your album on vice.com.

I know it's "a thing" that you're not supposed to accept gifts or bribes in exchange for write-ups, and to that I say:

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Morals. Pfffft."

Look how cool!

Send the loot and your album here:

VICE Magazine

ATTN: Kelly McClure

97 N. 10th St. Suite 204

Brooklyn, NY. 11211

If you send TWO Mad Balls I will write about your album AND call you on the telephone.

@WolfieVibes