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CHINA - I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS A MAN


An athlete in China threw all her medals in the garbage disposal because she just discovered she was a man. OK, the whole women not noticing they're pregnant thing is old news (still not any less shocking), but not noticing you have a dick your entire life? "Being a champion was never a happy thing to me. Standing on the podium made me feel guilty, and I always thought the real champion should have been the one standing next to me," he said, after a doctor had to tell him he's a guy. Only problem is, dudes don't whine like that.