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Vice Blog

LONDON - PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF READING

Note to all 17-year-old virgins: pretending to be engrossed in an important-looking book in public will not get you noshed off. I imagine being able to read probably was enough to get you laid back in the 14th century. I bet it still is in the Third World. (All I'm saying is, if you went to Namibia and sat on a park bench and read a business studies manual, you’d get a hand-job out of it.) But not over here. Not now.

You know the bit in Teen Wolf where Michael J Fox gets his friend to drive a camper van down a main road while the Wolf stands on the roof, performing back-flips? That’s how you get your bone smooched.

JON BROWN