I just read my old diary and I'm just going to concentrate on the future. Anyway sooo much has happened. I got to first with Collin behind the diner. Big deal, not!
April 1992I just read my old diary and I’m just going to concentrate on the future. Anyway sooo much has happened. I got to first with Collin behind the diner. Big deal, not! I’m sorry to say but my rep now is a “dirtbag” and there’s really nothing I can do about it except NOT hang out with Chris Carter. Shannon and I decided we were not going to smoke pot ever again. Oh yeah, and I kinda beat up Kerri. I AM such a dirtbag! I hang out with hoodies and druggies! Who am I? Peaches n cream or beer n nicotine? I like like Andy and Mike. I like Mike better. I want to kiss him sooo bad. I seriously HATE middle school. I have changed a lot and I am ashamed. I wonder if my sister has had sex yet? Collin wants me to give him a hand job but I won’t because I’ll feel like a used piece of shit. I just don’t have the power to control myself from that stuff! I am being bad but having fun at the same time. My parents found a cig in my pocket!!! What is happening to me? I feel like a scumbag. Actually a JAP in scumbag’s clothing. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared to fight with Chris cuz he’ll only get Hali to kick my ass. I must go. I want to run away. Oh shit, somebody save me!!!April 2002This was written when I was in seventh grade. It was a groundbreaking year because I discovered my chosen path of “beer n nicotine.” Being bad turned out to be way more fun but not very rewarding. I ended up giving Collin plenty of handjobs that year, as well as many blowjobs. This went on for years, and I did feel like a used piece of shit. To this day I’m not sure if I am able to always “control myself from that stuff.” I still find hand jobs irresistible. The rule to “never smoke pot again” only went into effect very recently for me, but for Shannon it happened a bit earlier. She became quite fond of sucking the glass dick, as well as drinking and driving. She died in a car accident about five years ago. Chris Carter never got Hali to kick my ass. Instead, he asked me out and we became boyfriend/girlfriend for about 2 weeks in eighth grade. I remember he used to kiss with grape bubblegum, and I dumped him because he told people I was flat- chested.
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