Chris O'Real was in a sketchy mood (as in drawerly, not meth-addicty) and decided to have a scribble. So he illustrated the nasty sex tales as told to him by four of his friends. First up is Pat…
A couple of months ago I went on a rugby tour to Spain with my old university team. To keep costs down we split the coach with a neighboring female rugby team. The girls were even bigger than the guys, and absolutely savage. After a large bottle each of Strongbow, they mauled the guys. Everyone but me started fucking all over the bus. The whole 20-hour bus journey was hugely upsetting and even more so when we had to share a bus with them again a week later.
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I used to go out with a really crazy girl who used to lie all the time and was generally pretty unstable. One time when I was eating her out, I was getting tired but could tell she was nearly cumming so I kept going like a trooper. When she did cum, she let out the most enormous fart, right in my face.
I hit a really good streak of pulling girls every time I went out for a couple of months. It all came crashing down though when I got too confident and wore my bright pink American Apparel Y-fronts under my jeans one night. True to form, I pulled a girl and brought her back to mine. It all hit the skids though when she took off my jeans and saw the pants I was wearing. She went completely nuts as if I had a child's severed hand stuffed down there; she threw her clothes on and stormed out.
After a work night out, my boss and I were both pretty wasted and went back to mine to keep on doing more coke. Pretty soon we started fucking but it was completely joyless as both of us were too fucked and numb to cum. We carried on the charade for about two hours before I gave up and tried to go to sleep.
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