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The Firing of Anthony Scaramucci Is Nothing Short of Tragic

Do not laugh at the Mooch's misfortune.
Lia Kantrowitz
illustrated by Lia Kantrowitz
Photo illustration by Lia Kantrowitz

What can you say about Anthony Scaramucci, the Mooch, whose tenure as White House communications director was as entertaining as it was brief? He was a professional. He was so eager to serve his country that he was calling reporters from day one. He was not trying to suck his own cock. And now he's gone, like a candle in the wind.

In ten short days, the Mooch made a name for himself in the administration, moving at high speeds to strategically sell the president's agenda to the public at large. He did so so successfully that he became a celebrity in his own right, a comet among the galaxy of stars that is the Trump White House. His moment in the spotlight came last Friday, when he ingeniously gave a interview to the New Yorker where he asserted that he was a selfless, devoted public servant. As a testament to his loyalty to the president, Scaramucci also noted that "what I want to do is I want to fucking kill all the leakers."


In that interview, he informed reporter Ryan Lizza that sadly, his colleague Reince Priebus had mental health issues—a "fucking paranoid schizophrenic"—and would have to be let go. True to his word, the Mooch indeed engineered Priebus's resignation. When Scaramucci began his tenure, he said that Priebus was like a brother to him—and like a good brother, he ensured that the former chief of staff put his health above all else.

The Mooch is such a devoted public servant that he signed on to the White House amid a painful divorce initiated by his nine-month pregnant wife who couldn't stand what an anonymous source described as his "naked political ambition"—but that others might describe as loyalty to a greater cause. When Deidre Scaramucci gave birth to the couple's son last Monday, the then White House communications director was absent—in West Virginia to stand by Donald Trump—and reportedly texted her to say, "Congratulations, I'll pray for our child."

Not only is he willing to congratulate the woman who is divorcing him, he is obviously a good Christian! A true American hero—a man who truly chooses country over self.

Now, the online trolls might be rejoicing in Scaramucci's misfortune—after all, he also sold his business to join the Trump administration—but he served his country ably and nobly, sacrificing everything for a job he did as best he could. Do not laugh at him. Don't even smile. Cry. Cry. Cry.

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