Mr. Goxx, the Crypto-Trading Hamster, Is Dead

If you got all your financial advice from a hamster, your portfolio is in serious trouble because he’s dead.
November 24, 2021, 2:58pm
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Mr. Goxx, the beloved hamster who enchanted the world by playing the cryptocurrency market and streaming it on Twitch, is dead. 

Mr. Goxx did his last full shift of trading on Twitch four days ago. The stream went live during the next two days, but Mr. Goxx didn’t show. Fans speculated if he was sick. Today, we know the sad truth.

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Mr. Goxx’s human business partner announced the news on Twitch, Twitter, and Reddit. “We feared this day like no other and are truly shocked for it to happen just now,” they said. “In deep sorrow, we have to announce the loss of our beloved furry friend. Being with us as a pet for quite a while, he became famous out of nowhere. Mr. Goxx has brought joy to people all across the globe and reminded us not to take life too seriously. He shed light into dark moments of pandemic, inflation and many kinds of trouble.”

According to Mr. Goxx’s owner, his real name was Max and he showed no signs of serious illness aside from a kidney issue and some recent mite work. 

“While having normal amounts of food until Sunday, he then suddenly refused eating and fell asleep peacefully on Monday morning,” they said. “For us humans behind Goxx Capital, the situation is hard to grasp and questions about a possible continuance of the project are not relevant to us at the moment.”

Mr. Goxx bought and sold cryptocurrency from his office in an undisclosed location in Germany. Running on his treadmill would select which crypto product he’d consider. Running through various tunnels would buy and sell the cryptocurrency. His antics caught the world’s attention, drawing admiration from Elon Musk and getting mentioned on The Daily Show.

At the time of his death, Mr. Goxx was working on an NFT. His portfolio was up €98.20. “Thank you and rest in peace, Max (a.k.a Mr. Goxx),” his business partner said. “You will be missed, and your memory will live forever on the blockchain.”