Women on Their Complicated Relationship With Their Nose

This piece originally appeared on VICE Netherlands.

My nose has been my biggest insecurity for as long as I can remember. I’m Iraqi, but people often tell me that I don’t particularly look like one – aside from my nose, that is. I have a typical Arab nose, as people call it: striking with a bump on the bridge.

I started talking about having a nose job when I was about 11. As a teenager, I often wondered why I didn’t have a “regular” nose and why I didn’t look like my friends. I grew up in a very white environment, so to me beauty meant something specific and it came with a tiny, cute nose.

I’m now 25 and yet to get a nose job. Secretly, I want to have a nose I enjoy looking at, but what I want even more is to enjoy looking at the nose I have now. As a proud Arab woman, I want to embrace my background and everything that comes with it – I’d be lying if I said that my insecurity has vanished, though. 

In an interview with Vogue, model Bella Hadid confessed she regretted having a nose job. Hadid, who has Palestinian and Dutch roots, had surgery when she was just 14. “I wish I’d kept the nose of my ancestors, I think I would have grown into it,” she says in the interview. Remarks like these get me thinking: ‘If I had a surgery, would it make me lose a part of my identity and background?’

On TikTok, I often see “before and after” photos of people who’ve had a nose job, or people using filters that supposedly make their nose look ugly. Western beauty standards reign supreme and they don’t make things easy for women – particularly women of colour. 

I decided to talk about these issues with three women from my social media bubble. They opened up about nose jobs, the influence of social media on their idea of beauty and what it’s like to be bullied because of your nose.

“At first, I thought I was the only one who had a problem with my nose, but growing up people would call me ‘witch nose’ and ‘crow’ – that proved to me that my nose was indeed big. I didn’t see many people who looked like me in school, which only made me more insecure.

When I became an influencer and started collaborating with brands, I started editing my pictures: Social media made me even more aware of my nose. At some point, it became an obsession, so I went to Turkey for a rhinoplasty a few years ago.

I wanted the opposite of what I had, so I asked the doctor for a baby nose –yes, the nose of a baby. I understand now how crazy that sounds. 

If I could turn back time, I would honestly have never got a nose job – it took away part of my identity. I’m Syrian and before the surgery people could immediately see I was Arab or Middle Eastern, but now people assume I’m European. When I see Arab women with a bump or an aquiline nose, I’m jealous – the nose I have now doesn’t fit with the rest of my face at all.

I’ve since realised we all come into the world looking the way we’re supposed to and I have so much regret about not understanding that sooner – it makes me really sad. When I see pictures of myself before the surgery, I think, ‘Look at how gorgeous you were, Dima.’ I wish I could turn back time and tell this to myself before entering the operating room.

I have quite a bit of reach on social media and I get a lot of questions about my nose job, but I refuse to share advice. I’m Muslim and plastic surgery is considered a sin in Islam, so I feel guilty about it. I chose to change something about myself, but I don’t want other people to make the same mistake just because they saw me do it. I also don’t want young girls to believe that their nose can only be beautiful if it’s small.

A lot of people had warned me before the surgery, telling me I was beautiful the way I was, but even when the whole world tells you that, what you truly need is to learn to appreciate it yourself.

To anyone struggling with their nose and thinking about rhinoplasty: Please remember there’s no way back, so think about it very carefully. I believe we need to teach the next generation the importance of self-love and that every nose is beautiful, no matter how big, small, straight or crooked.” – Dima Akkash, 21

“I used to get bullied for my nose by family members, friends and at school, then I became incredibly insecure. Everyone was always talking about it, so I started really believing my nose was ugly – it took up a lot of my energy. Whenever I was talking to someone, all I’d be thinking about was how to position my body to make my nose look better or less noticeable.

Eventually, I began editing my nose in photos to make it look smaller – finally, I felt pretty. I often thought about getting a rhinoplasty back then. I’d even look at an edited picture and think: ‘If I get my nose done, I should also put some fillers in my chin.’

A few years ago, I applied for a visa to go to Iran and get a nose job there. I had everything ready, but for whatever reason my visa application kept being rejected. 

It ended up being accepted eventually, but I didn’t go. My mum told me: ‘If you get a nose job, you’re no longer my Farrah.’ And if I’m no longer her Farrah, then who am I to myself? Besides, I got scared that I’d never feel like I’m good enough. Now I realise that I’m already good as I am – and so is my nose. 

A nose gives character, it gives your face something special: I don’t judge people who decide to have a nose job, but I don’t want one anymore.

I also don’t share edited photos of myself anymore. When model Maya Samaha posted a photo of her side profile to Instagram, she looked unbelievably beautiful – especially because of her nose – and that made me realise I could do the same. In the summer of 2021 I put on some makeup, took a profile shot and from that moment I started thinking of my nose as beautiful.

I don’t necessarily post these photos to inspire people, but I do want to show I’m proud of how I look. I get private messages every day from people who thank me because I’ve shown them that their nose is good the way it is. Some even say I’ve motivated them not to get a nose job: It sounds cliché, but hearing that makes me so happy.

Even though I’m confident now, people still say mean things sometimes. The other day, I was at the supermarket where I used to work and an ex-coworker told me: ‘You’re really good looking, if only you’d get your nose done.’ I also hate it when people say I should love my imperfections – my nose is not an imperfection. I’m an Amazigh Moroccan, we are known for our big noses and I’m proud of that.” – Farrah Nousha, 29

“Kids can be mean: They started picking on me about my nose in elementary school. When you have a tiny face and a big or bumpy nose, like me, it stands out.

As a teenager, I’d also get comments while I was out. When passing by a busy bar terrace, I’d try to walk as fast as I could, turning my head away or putting on sunglasses to make my nose less visible. If a guy hit on me and I wasn’t interested, I’d get told things like, ‘Who do you think you are with that nose?’ – even though they were into me moments ago. 

These experiences made me insecure and I started editing my nose in pictures – I’ve always been honest with my followers about that.

At 27, I saved enough money to get a rhinoplasty in Turkey. I don’t think it made me lose my identity, because I still look the same. My nose still isn’t ‘perfect’, but the bump is gone and it makes me feel confident about the way I look. I’m a content creator and I go to PR events from time to time where they often take pictures unannounced – thanks to the surgery, I don’t have a problem with that anymore.

My parents knew about the bullying and my insecurity. Even though they always told me I’m beautiful with or without a bump on my nose, they wanted me to be happy – even if that meant changing something on my face. I have the same approach now I’m a mother: I won’t encourage it, but if my son ever struggles with his physical appearance, I won’t stand in his way.

On social media, I’m open about my surgery – I did a Q&A on Instagram about it once. I didn’t answer these questions to encourage people to get a nose job, but rather to be transparent. On that note, I hope people don’t do it only because it’s trending on social media – trends change each season, and so do beauty standards.” — Biljana Pupovac, 29