It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: The Perry Family
Screencaps via CBS Boston
The incident: A family was told they were not allowed to bring knives into an amusement park.
The appropriate response: Nothing. Why on earth would you be allowed to bring a knife into an amusement park?
The actual response: They attacked two cops and started a mini riot.
On Monday, five members of the Perry family attempted to visit the Canobie Lake amusement park in Salem, New Hampshire.
At least two members of the family had hunting knives attached to their belts as they tried to enter the park. Predictably, a member of staff told them they were not allowed to take the knives into the park and would have to leave them in their car.
This didn't sit too well with the family, who reportedly became "belligerent" and launched a "swear-filled tirade" against the staff member.
Two police officers who were already at the park tried to intervene. After giving several verbal warnings to the family, an officer told a male member of the family that he was under arrest and attempted to handcuff him.
As he placed the cuffs on the man, the rest of the family attacked, jumping on the officers' backs, punching them, kicking them, and attempting to grab their weapons. Both officers were injured. One had to be treated for a dislocated shoulder.
When backup arrived and moved to arrest everyone, the mother of the family faked a seizure. She was examined by paramedics at the scene, who concluded she was a massive fucking liar.
The family was charged with a range of crimes including felony riot, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct.
Cry-Baby #2: Megan Elizabeth Everett
The incident: A woman didn't want her daughter to be vaccinated or taught about black people at school.
The appropriate response: Ceasing to be a moron.
The actual response: She kidnapped her daughter.
Megan Elizabeth Everett (pictured above, left) and Robert Baumann have a two-year-old daughter named Lily (above, right). Megan and Robert share 50-50 custody of the child.
Or they did up until May 6, when Megan kidnapped Lily.
The last time Robert saw his daughter was when he dropped her off at Megan's home in Sunrise, Florida, on May 6. As per the terms of their shared-custody agreement, Megan was meant to return the child a week later.
She never showed up. Instead, she left a note for Robert, which, according to the Sun Sentinel, read:
You are a great dad. If I let them take her and vaccinate her and brainwash her, I wouldn't be doing what's right. I cannot let a judge tell me how my daughter should be raised. We will miss you. But I had to leave.
The word great was underlined.
There is currently a warrant out for the arrest of Megan on charges of interference with custody, kidnapping, and concealing a minor contrary to court order.
The Sun-Sentinel reports that Megan went off the rails when she became involved with a new boyfriend, whom they describe as a "Confederate-flag-waving gun enthusiast."
"One of the issues we had was, she wanted to homeschool my daughter," Robert, the kidnapped girl's father, told the paper. "She didn't want Lilly to learn about black history. She just wanted her to learn about the Confederacy."
Robert had planned to enroll his daughter in preschool the next time he had her. He also planned to have her vaccinated. "She found this new idea that vaccines are horrible," he said.
"In the state of mind my daughter is in, Lily would be better off with Robert," Megan's mom, Pam Everett said.
After Robert reported Lilly's disappearance, Sunrise Police went to Megan's last known address, where they found her new boyfriend.
He told them that Megan and Lily were gone and "not coming back." According to court documents, "[he] informed detectives that [Megan] knew she would have to live her life as a fugitive… However, in her mind, the time that she spent with her daughter 'free' of Baumann would be 'worth it,' regardless of how brief it was."
Megan and Lilly are currently still missing.
Which of this lot is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll, please:
Winner: The cigarette ladies!!!
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