We like illustrator Dennis Chow. He's funny, works insanely fast and always comes back with something weirder, more perverted and invariably better than what you originally had in your head. Once, we asked him to illustrate a gang of Chinese kids who hacked a German family to death in Nanjing and he got reeeeeally excited. Maybe too excited. But that's why we like him. His style is sort of like Daniel Clowes if he was an illustrator for Satanic children's books.He's also part of the Jollification art show we're sponsoring on December 14th at the Adidas Originals Gallery in Toronto (details here). When we first asked him about it, he didn't even know he was involved. He later explained that he has a tendency to sign on to shows without knowing what they are about. Part of the reason is that he doesn't give a fuck about being taken seriously as an artist. The other part is because dude is a creative machine and can churn out the most bizarre and unique drawings at the drop of a dime. From sunup to sundown, Dennis probably consumes an entire ounce of weed and spits out a good 100 drawings—he's like an illustration version of one of those sausage-making machines. Actually that'd be a pretty good drawing for him to do.In any case, we got our Toronto ad guy Nick to ask him some questions because they've been friends since forever and he's got tons of dirt on the guy. Here's how that worked out:How did you get started in internet porn?
Lets make something clear. I didn't start out as talent. I started after I graduated from George Brown where I did graphic design. It was really hard for me to get a job in my field. Initially I was offered a job at HBC making signs and it was pretty boring. I was then offered a job through my friend Phil whose girlfriend was working for this internet porn place and they needed a graphic designer. The pay was good. I would have never been making that much money straight out of school.So you were doing graphic design?
Well… it was whatever they called graphic design. You know, air-brushing pussies, assholes and things like that. At one point, one of my tasks was to make normal girls into trannies by photo-shopping cocks onto these hot chicks.Aren't there legal ramifications for doing that?
No. The porn companies buy stock. So they buy all the photos and own them much like how stock photo agencies work. The place we used was called Cuntents. That's an awesome name.
Yeah. Cuntents. How fucking clever. You never told your parents about this job right?
Nope.Never?
Nope. I could never look into my parents' eyes and tell them that. And to this day they still don't know that?
I had to do what I had to do, but they aren't going to know that they raised a monster.I remember when I told my parents about what you were doing…
I remember that. I was so bummed, dude. I remember saying, "Why the fuck did you go and tell your parents that? They are going to think I'm some sexual predator and hate me now."Quite the contrary, though.
Yeah, well it's still not a great idea to tell your parents that your best friend is doing porn, Nick.Fair enough. I honestly thought you had a cool job, though.
I airbrushed out razor burns on pussies and wrote copy like, "Cum inside me with your big hard cock" for a living. It was hardly cool.Was it what you imagined going in? Did it change your perception of porn?
Yes. I fucking hate that shit now. It's bullshit. The people who work in the industry are bullshit and they all live in their bullshit little bubbles. They think they are all like celebrities or pseudo-celebrities, but really, they are just a bunch of complete fucking assholes.Both the talent and the business sides of the equation?
Well, with the exception of a couple cam girls, I never met any talent. The other guys though are all sleazy, slimy businessmen. They are all the bottom of the barrel and I hate those people and I wish them the worst.Aside from the scummy business angle, how did staring at porn all day affect your love of the medium?
I enjoy the female form but a lot of this shit was a) work and b) very, very monotonous work. I was doing the same thing over and over again. It was like that episode of Seinfeld with bad naked or ugly naked or whatever it was—when he and his girlfriend would hang out all the time naked and it weirded him out.So you were desensitized to it?
Yeah. I've seen it all and there is now nothing that will ever shock me in terms of pornography.Did you crush out on any of the girls?
The only one that sticks in my head is that chick Nikki Nova, who I knew from before I started.Why her though?
Her deal was that she only did solo stuff and she never got fills from any dudes. Plus she was pretty stylish.Remember when we were 19 and you got that lap dance from her that ended with your pants soaked?
Dude can we not talk about that?Um… OK. Did you ever rub one out on the company dime?
You know what? Everyone always asked me that including you and it really fucking annoyed me. I never ever jerked off at work. Fuck that. Why do you want to know if I busted at nut at work? That shit's getting into homo territory.Oh. Sorry.Included image is titled "6" from the triptych "666", to see this and other goodness with your own eyeballs check out the Jollification show Friday night at the Adidas Originals Gallery (located above their store at 389 Queen St. West).
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Lets make something clear. I didn't start out as talent. I started after I graduated from George Brown where I did graphic design. It was really hard for me to get a job in my field. Initially I was offered a job at HBC making signs and it was pretty boring. I was then offered a job through my friend Phil whose girlfriend was working for this internet porn place and they needed a graphic designer. The pay was good. I would have never been making that much money straight out of school.
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Well… it was whatever they called graphic design. You know, air-brushing pussies, assholes and things like that. At one point, one of my tasks was to make normal girls into trannies by photo-shopping cocks onto these hot chicks.Aren't there legal ramifications for doing that?
No. The porn companies buy stock. So they buy all the photos and own them much like how stock photo agencies work. The place we used was called Cuntents. That's an awesome name.
Yeah. Cuntents. How fucking clever. You never told your parents about this job right?
Nope.Never?
Nope. I could never look into my parents' eyes and tell them that. And to this day they still don't know that?
I had to do what I had to do, but they aren't going to know that they raised a monster.I remember when I told my parents about what you were doing…
I remember that. I was so bummed, dude. I remember saying, "Why the fuck did you go and tell your parents that? They are going to think I'm some sexual predator and hate me now."Quite the contrary, though.
Yeah, well it's still not a great idea to tell your parents that your best friend is doing porn, Nick.Fair enough. I honestly thought you had a cool job, though.
I airbrushed out razor burns on pussies and wrote copy like, "Cum inside me with your big hard cock" for a living. It was hardly cool.Was it what you imagined going in? Did it change your perception of porn?
Yes. I fucking hate that shit now. It's bullshit. The people who work in the industry are bullshit and they all live in their bullshit little bubbles. They think they are all like celebrities or pseudo-celebrities, but really, they are just a bunch of complete fucking assholes.
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Well, with the exception of a couple cam girls, I never met any talent. The other guys though are all sleazy, slimy businessmen. They are all the bottom of the barrel and I hate those people and I wish them the worst.Aside from the scummy business angle, how did staring at porn all day affect your love of the medium?
I enjoy the female form but a lot of this shit was a) work and b) very, very monotonous work. I was doing the same thing over and over again. It was like that episode of Seinfeld with bad naked or ugly naked or whatever it was—when he and his girlfriend would hang out all the time naked and it weirded him out.So you were desensitized to it?
Yeah. I've seen it all and there is now nothing that will ever shock me in terms of pornography.Did you crush out on any of the girls?
The only one that sticks in my head is that chick Nikki Nova, who I knew from before I started.Why her though?
Her deal was that she only did solo stuff and she never got fills from any dudes. Plus she was pretty stylish.Remember when we were 19 and you got that lap dance from her that ended with your pants soaked?
Dude can we not talk about that?Um… OK. Did you ever rub one out on the company dime?
You know what? Everyone always asked me that including you and it really fucking annoyed me. I never ever jerked off at work. Fuck that. Why do you want to know if I busted at nut at work? That shit's getting into homo territory.Oh. Sorry.Included image is titled "6" from the triptych "666", to see this and other goodness with your own eyeballs check out the Jollification show Friday night at the Adidas Originals Gallery (located above their store at 389 Queen St. West).