Grimewatch

Scorcher and kitten. Photo by Jamie-James Medina

PHTV DVD

Neckle Camp live in Helsinki

You should all be happy to know that Scorcher, the finest MC the grime scene has ever produced (in our opinion) has been released from jail and is currently on road working on his debut album. Scorcher touched down to find every copy of his mixtape

Simply The Best

had sold out and perhaps more exciting, his cat Tinkerbell had given birth to a litter of kittens. Vice Magazine’s Jamie-James Medina has adopted one and the little nipper (named Pesto) has been going from strength to strength. “Man’s gotta rep different ends to stay ahead of the game” said Pesto about his move to N4, “but I won’t never forget Scorchos and the famble in EN1”. Watch out for Pesto’s appearance on

Lord of The Mics 3

; we understand his playing-with-a-ball-of-wool game is off the heezook.

We hear the other members of Cold Blooded aren’t so keen on kittens—with Doller Da Dustman running scared every time Tinkerbell comes out from behind Scorcher’s TV. Doller’s been a little bit more courageous when it comes to releasing music, with his

I Ain’t Come To Beg Friend

mixtape being released earlier this month. I would say it’s definitely worth purchasing if you want a whole hour of him repeating his name over and over again. Fellow crew member, Terminator will be putting out his debut single on Logan Sama’s label in the coming months. The label’s called ‘Adamantium’ (as in the metal Wolverine’s bones are made of) which, as we all know, isn’t even the most complicated word in Terry Wogan Sama’s vocabulary. Who could forget his masterful use of ‘dichotomy’ on the

Rinsessions

DVD or ‘asinine’ on the Dissensus message board?

Also busy is Faction G who, right now, has got his finger in more pies than a fat teenager working in Greggs. He’s got two mixtapes coming out within the next month and an album on the way towards the end of the year. He’s just filmed a video for “3 Options” at the Rinse FM studios, featuring Ears and Manga and is prepping for his starring role in

Dubplate Drama 2

. For all of the Finnish grime fans out there, Faction G will be over in Helsinki in November playing at DJ Dead-O’s rave. Neckle Camp were out there earlier this year with Matt Shadetek playing various beach parties and had the whole crowd shouting along in broken English.

We heard Knuckles and Jammer had a bust up in an airport a little while back, so we are terrified Neckle Camp might split. We’ve still not recovered from the Hot Boys break-up, so this could push us over the edge. Apparently Knucks put toothpaste on Jammer’s dreads and the Murkle Man went psycho, although we may have just made that up. It’s so hard to tell these days. We can tell you with some authority, though, that the Neckle Camp album,

Straight Necklin’

, is out now and is a complete masterpiece, so make sure you buy it. Also, save up your pocket money for Knuckles’ mixtape,

New Kid On The Block

, out in four months, and Ears’ mixtape, which we’ve had forever, but for some reason still hasn’t touched down.

One crew we’re not so sad to hear has split is SLK. Most of the crew have gone and joined Gully Gang, who are looking pretty decent now. We hear Flirta D is going solo and Van Damage is going back to his job in Wendy’s. We can’t say he’ll be greatly missed. Gully Gang make an appearance on the brand new lifestyle DVD magazine,

PHTV

, which is one of the only grime DVDs we’ve seen that doesn’t look like it was filmed by a deranged, blind old man with Parkinson’s. It’s worth buying alone for the Scorcher interview and freestyle. Other highlights include S.K.I.T.Z. Beatz making a great new beat in 5 minutes using a sample from a Turkish folk song, and Mercston showing you his top 5 trainers (although I wouldn’t listen to his recommendations—they all look like something a 14-year-old girl would wear).

Wiley recently became a father and has decided to up his work rate a little, taking up residence in an underground tunnel near Redbridge to finish work on a new mixtape,

Tunnel Vision Vol. 1

, which should be incredible. As you all know, this doesn’t actually mean we’ll ever hear it though. One mixtape you shouldn’t waste your money on is Marcie Phonix & Hypa Fenn’s

Ready For The Merkage

, which once again confirms their status as the Zig & Zag of the grime scene. Utter “swagage, swaggage” (sung in an annoyingly high voice). The only forthcoming mixtape that we can say will certainly be released is the

Vice

Magazine and DJ Prancehall mixtape,

Anger Is A Gift

. It’s almost done and will be available to download for free on prancehall.com and viceland.com in a few months. KISS 100’s Logan Sama previewed our exclusive Baby Cham freestyle over Statik’s “Deadboy” track on his show a few weeks back (THANKS LOGAN—the X-Men sample was only a joke). The next day we had half of the grime scene calling us asking whether they could get on the mixtape too. What a fucking change that makes. We remember when we first asked people to get involved and they all told us to go and speak their “manager”, who turned out to be their little sister answering calls for them while on her lunch break at primary school. Hold tight all the little sisters keeping grime alive.

Check back next month for a full report from Faction G in Cyprus.

CLARENCE STATELY-HOLMES