My parents christened me as if I was destined to be a pizza-oven repairman. I can live with that. But it’s just embarrassing when some dago golfer claims the media has a covert anti-Italian-American agenda because an announcer said his name sounds like he should be cleaning Tiger Woods’s pool. The only thing that really annoys me about being a Rocco is when people talk to me about Madonna’s baby or boxing or ask if I’ve ever seen Rocko’s Modern Life. Yes I have, it was a pretty paltry Ren & Stimpy rip-off, but it had its moments.For the record I’m only half-wop (the other half is something Anglo, but I’m constantly being mistaken for a Mexican). My full name translates roughly to "beaver nurse"—Rocco is the saint of dealing with pestilence and Castor is a rodent genus (and apparently a maroonish beaver secretion used in perfume). Chances are your name is boring and/or drew its inspiration from a celebrity your mom likes, so let’s move on to something more interesting like the weather or what's up with that. PS: All that said, if someone ever tells me I should’ve been a pool man my uncle Frank in Jersey will make sure it’s his fuckin ass that’s getting fished out of a body of water.ROCCO CASTORO